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Should I get 18 year old out of jail?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764986" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>New Life, welcome to you. The change will come from you. It's time to think through each choice you make with your welfare at the center. This will be best for your children, I believe. Bygones are bygones. Your son was gifted a car. If he wrecked it, it's his responsibility to pay for repairs, or not. His choice. Adults need to pay their own expenses unless there are parental means to help pay for college.</p><p></p><p>Forgot? That's called theft. Not telling his PO essential things, that's called parole violations. The only way he will learn to be responsible is to take responsibility for what he does and the consequences thereof.</p><p></p><p>Why would you do that? If we make every single problem or error right, how will he learn to live better?</p><p></p><p>No. They are choosing homelessness. Nobody forced this on them. People get to live as they choose.</p><p></p><p>And then what happens next? Do you pay for all the other attorneys that come for future arrests, so he can keep his job? This life of your son's is his life, not yours. He will either make a good life or a troubled and difficult life based upon his actions, attitudes and most importantly, his learning. If you kiss all his booboos and disappear all of the results of his poor choices, where will be the learning and incentive to live better?</p><p></p><p>I hope you haven't experienced my reply as harsh or uncaring. I don't know another way to say it, except directly.</p><p></p><p>The best way to help your children is to let them live their own lives which means that they take responsibility to live as well as they can and if they're living poorly, to experience the consequences, so that they can choose to live better. If they don't they don't.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you may feel some guilt about this new relationship and marriage. Maybe you feel you don't deserve to be happy. That's not true. Your children need to learn that their lives as adults are independent of you. If they can rein you in by guilt-tripping and manipulation that is not good for them or for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764986, member: 18958"] New Life, welcome to you. The change will come from you. It's time to think through each choice you make with your welfare at the center. This will be best for your children, I believe. Bygones are bygones. Your son was gifted a car. If he wrecked it, it's his responsibility to pay for repairs, or not. His choice. Adults need to pay their own expenses unless there are parental means to help pay for college. Forgot? That's called theft. Not telling his PO essential things, that's called parole violations. The only way he will learn to be responsible is to take responsibility for what he does and the consequences thereof. Why would you do that? If we make every single problem or error right, how will he learn to live better? No. They are choosing homelessness. Nobody forced this on them. People get to live as they choose. And then what happens next? Do you pay for all the other attorneys that come for future arrests, so he can keep his job? This life of your son's is his life, not yours. He will either make a good life or a troubled and difficult life based upon his actions, attitudes and most importantly, his learning. If you kiss all his booboos and disappear all of the results of his poor choices, where will be the learning and incentive to live better? I hope you haven't experienced my reply as harsh or uncaring. I don't know another way to say it, except directly. The best way to help your children is to let them live their own lives which means that they take responsibility to live as well as they can and if they're living poorly, to experience the consequences, so that they can choose to live better. If they don't they don't. It sounds like you may feel some guilt about this new relationship and marriage. Maybe you feel you don't deserve to be happy. That's not true. Your children need to learn that their lives as adults are independent of you. If they can rein you in by guilt-tripping and manipulation that is not good for them or for you. [/QUOTE]
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Should I get 18 year old out of jail?
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