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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 717328" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Good for him for baby steps which is where change starts. I am proud of him.</p><p></p><p>I am concerned about the fraudulent charges on your card. What do you do what that?</p><p></p><p>You are doing admirably in impossible and heart-wrenching conditions.</p><p></p><p>It is encouraging he is concerned his brain will get back to normal. He needs to understand the brain changes from drugs persist over time in many cases as brain physiology is altered indefinitely. This brain change typically reverses itself over time. But it's persistence (expressed through symptoms) challenges them: Do I drug away the symptoms or do I recognize that any use of an illicit drug digs the hole deeper?</p><p></p><p>He is dealing with choices that are beginning the path to real manhood. Only he can resolve whose hand he takes or what priorities he sees as central.</p><p></p><p>You and I know that such seemingly momentary and insignificant decisions define a life. </p><p></p><p>You won round one. Because you stayed strong, sure and in the game with him. </p><p></p><p>My son is 10 years older. His priorities are similar to your boy's. I do not know how much more strength I have to continue to play a significant role.</p><p></p><p>I believe he needs to in an extended way experience the consequences his choices and priorities engender. M is less sure. He crumbles hearing how my son is living. He wants--if my son demonstrates a clean drug test and proof he in an outpatient mental health treatment program--to let him come back. If and only if he demonstrates self-initiated productive activity.</p><p></p><p>I don't know. I have seen NO sign my son wants to change. What he wants is what makes his life more comfortable not better.</p><p></p><p>M's way of looking at it is we tighten up what we can. No door key. He leaves at 7:15 and can re-enter at 3:00pm. Regular drug testing. The sense we support with a structure, the beginning of stability and purpose and he do the rest. If he can or chooses.</p><p></p><p>The reality that flies in the face of this fine plan is that it is all killing me. All of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 717328, member: 18958"] Good for him for baby steps which is where change starts. I am proud of him. I am concerned about the fraudulent charges on your card. What do you do what that? You are doing admirably in impossible and heart-wrenching conditions. It is encouraging he is concerned his brain will get back to normal. He needs to understand the brain changes from drugs persist over time in many cases as brain physiology is altered indefinitely. This brain change typically reverses itself over time. But it's persistence (expressed through symptoms) challenges them: Do I drug away the symptoms or do I recognize that any use of an illicit drug digs the hole deeper? He is dealing with choices that are beginning the path to real manhood. Only he can resolve whose hand he takes or what priorities he sees as central. You and I know that such seemingly momentary and insignificant decisions define a life. You won round one. Because you stayed strong, sure and in the game with him. My son is 10 years older. His priorities are similar to your boy's. I do not know how much more strength I have to continue to play a significant role. I believe he needs to in an extended way experience the consequences his choices and priorities engender. M is less sure. He crumbles hearing how my son is living. He wants--if my son demonstrates a clean drug test and proof he in an outpatient mental health treatment program--to let him come back. If and only if he demonstrates self-initiated productive activity. I don't know. I have seen NO sign my son wants to change. What he wants is what makes his life more comfortable not better. M's way of looking at it is we tighten up what we can. No door key. He leaves at 7:15 and can re-enter at 3:00pm. Regular drug testing. The sense we support with a structure, the beginning of stability and purpose and he do the rest. If he can or chooses. The reality that flies in the face of this fine plan is that it is all killing me. All of it. [/QUOTE]
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