No problem. It was not a very good way to live. I used to get so scared I'd drive around at night stopping kids I knew and asking where my daughter was. When she no longer lived with me I did not worry in the same way because I didn't know what was going on. Plus the relative she was staying with was so strict I figured that if she didn't want to be homeless she would be forced to listen to his very strict rules and that's exactly what happened. We were all lucky that Daughter did not want to be homeless and was tired of playing with the druggies as well. I am very proud of her. Her story proves that anyone can quit. Heck, go to AA or NA...people tell their stories about quitting every night. People quit every single day.
I did go to Al-Anon and got a lot of help there. And I like Tough Love. Although I did not go to a Tough Love program, I read the books. I was not always able to actually do those recommended things the first time, but at least I got ideas.
I cried for three weeks after my daughter left. I missed her and loved her so, but she needed to get out of town in order to quit.
When my son left, all I felt was a big sigh of relief. He had been a threatening, vile force around the house for years, stealing, terrifying my daughter, lying, getting in my face, cussing in a way that made my daughter shake and run in her room, screaming at me and finally almost hitting me. It was no way to live. Not for him or my daughter or even for him. I often wonder if my daughter used drugs partly because of him, but she has said that wasn't it so I want to believe her.
I visited him in the various hotel dives he stayed at. I brought MacD's sometimes and talked to him. But, in my heart, I knew he could never live with me again. When he is stressed, he is dangerous. There is no other word that adequately describes it. It is sad because when he isn't stressed he is way different, but I believe he could put somebody in the hospital under stress. And he won't get help. Or claims he can't afford it (he makes a lot of money, but lots also goes for child support. Still, he has money to buy...a house...a new car...every top electronic known to man, including a 60 inch brand new television...oodles of toys for his son (he is very spoiled since he lives with my son half the time)...let's just say he doesn't consider therapy a priority.
