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Showdown at the shampoo corale
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 476824" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Well... I'd make a more educated guess if I spend a couple of MONTHS with him, but... while I would enjoy the break from here, its just not going to fly.</p><p></p><p>It could be any of these - or multiple (likely) - or something else entirely, of course...</p><p></p><p>1) He is highly sensitive. This kids of people tend to be skewed a bit... more sensitive to the negative than to the positive. Imagine if he were looking at problems through a microscope, and thinking they really were as big as they appear. He's had enough losses in his life already, that it adds to his already sensitive nature.</p><p></p><p>2) Culture... He sees himself as a child, and you as a parent... but not necessarily in a hierarchy... You are not "above" him, but rather, working together. Therefore, being "put in his place" = "put down" = war.</p><p></p><p>3) Some small thing from the past... I've heard of kids who had certain thoughts and/or experiences going on (normal stuff) at the point where they lost a parent (death or divorce)... and any occurence of those experiences triggers fear of losing the other parent. If being scolded for things was a pattern going on when you and his dad split up... he may be overreacting because of history. </p><p></p><p>4) Executive functions... When you ask "normal" things and he reacts "normally", it feels good for him. But when his brain "skips" (remember those old records?), he reacts in ways that he would not, if he were "on track". And then he is afraid of what his own mind is doing to him. which makes the whole thing even more scary... and he spirals. He is perceptive enough to know it shouldn't go this way, but not mature enough to do anything about it.</p><p></p><p>Maybe somebody else has more ideas?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 476824, member: 11791"] Well... I'd make a more educated guess if I spend a couple of MONTHS with him, but... while I would enjoy the break from here, its just not going to fly. It could be any of these - or multiple (likely) - or something else entirely, of course... 1) He is highly sensitive. This kids of people tend to be skewed a bit... more sensitive to the negative than to the positive. Imagine if he were looking at problems through a microscope, and thinking they really were as big as they appear. He's had enough losses in his life already, that it adds to his already sensitive nature. 2) Culture... He sees himself as a child, and you as a parent... but not necessarily in a hierarchy... You are not "above" him, but rather, working together. Therefore, being "put in his place" = "put down" = war. 3) Some small thing from the past... I've heard of kids who had certain thoughts and/or experiences going on (normal stuff) at the point where they lost a parent (death or divorce)... and any occurence of those experiences triggers fear of losing the other parent. If being scolded for things was a pattern going on when you and his dad split up... he may be overreacting because of history. 4) Executive functions... When you ask "normal" things and he reacts "normally", it feels good for him. But when his brain "skips" (remember those old records?), he reacts in ways that he would not, if he were "on track". And then he is afraid of what his own mind is doing to him. which makes the whole thing even more scary... and he spirals. He is perceptive enough to know it shouldn't go this way, but not mature enough to do anything about it. Maybe somebody else has more ideas? [/QUOTE]
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