Hi, aud. I wanted you to know I was reading along, too.
Has the statute of limitations elapsed for your son to press charges? This would be something concrete to explore. NAMI can be emailed (find the address on the NAMI page for your area). They have provided me with names of attorneys who may be able to help difficult child daughter. It is worth a try, aud. I emailed a brief synopsis of difficult child daughter's situation. I received an email back within a few days. This is one of the things NAMI tries to help those diagnosed with mental illnesses to do. difficult child daughter decided she would prefer to work with the public defender. I don't know whether the attorneys NAMI suggested would have worked free of charge or not. But I do know that doing something is better than doing nothing. I know that is enabling, is getting locked in again...but there are times, like this one, when new information comes out.
This should be addressed.
The only way I know to survive the horror of what is happening to you now aud is to decide, coldly and implacably, to survive it. To survive, and to flourish with love, with faith in the best outcome, with absolute understanding that you are acting in the best interests of your children and yourself.
When new information is presented, you can change your mind, aud. For now, you need to stay the course. There isn't anything else you can do. Stop beating yourself up, aud. Stop second guessing yourself. That is what I meant about "coldly and implacably". None of this is easy. New information is the only helpful reason to question the decisions you have made regarding your son and his situation. You did the right thing. It is the situation that is wrong.
I'm sorry this is happening, aud. But if you are going to make it through this, you are going to have to be stronger than you know how to be.
I only know this because I have been there too, aud. That guilty, shamed, self-accusing place is like a death. It doesn't help us. We need to scream "STOP" when it happens to us. Recovering calls it the FOG. Even to understand that is where we are is helpful.
I am so sorry this is happening, aud.
But you can do this.
I am.
Cedar
