aud, hold tight. This is what we mean when we say the kids are going to up the ante. Your son wants what he wants. He doesn't care if he has to hurt you to get it. He is angry. I know how this hurts aud, but you are not the one who created this situation. Your son does not think straight sometimes. He says and does hurtful things, things that don't make sense no matter how you try to see it.
This is one of those times, aud.
Your choices were to continue living with your son beating you or his sister pretty much at will or to declare your independence from that same son. You made the right choice.
In reality, he left you no other choice. Verbal abuse invariably comes before physical abuse. Life for you and your daughter must have been such a hurtful thing. Verbal abuse is so damaging that it is hard to believe we deserve anything better.
It took so much courage for you to turn him in, aud.
And if he hates you? What he hates is that you rebelled, took his power away, turned him in.
aud, you have value.
Your daughter has value.
What would happen if you told your son that you hear him, that you are very sorry he feels that way, and to keep a civil tongue in his head when he talks to his mother?
No more allowing this son to victimize you, aud. He has had it his own way for too long. He beat his own sister. You do not tell us whether he has hit you or not. Whatever the case, aud, this has to stop. You do not need to be afraid of this man who is your son. You made the right decisions every time aud ~ it is your son who is making the bad and hurtful decisions.
You are free, aud. You need to declare freedom from this manipulative son. Love the good, strong man he could be if he wanted to, but fight back at this mean mouthed, mother hurting, sister beating, verbally abusive son.
Who does he think he is, anyway?
If you just once tell him what you really think aud, it will feel so right that you will never go back to the old, retiring, scared to say anything ways, again.
This grown man is trying to hurt and destroy his own mother. He is saying the terrible things he says TO hurt you, aud. There is no truth in them. aud, this is what abusers do. They tear their victims to shreds on the inside, where it hurts most. Once that pride in ourselves is gone, we believe we can be beat, we believe anything the abuser tells us.
Shame on him. Really. Shame on him.
Time to take your life back, aud.
Cedar
The Verbally Abusive Relationship
Patrica Evans
www.patriciaevans.com
