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Single Mom being challenged by Teen Son
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<blockquote data-quote="Sheila" data-source="post: 567291" data-attributes="member: 23"><p>Welcome</p><p></p><p>17 and bullet proof. I have one of those. lol</p><p></p><p>Kids are different, laws in states vary, but I'll tell you what I did. I called difficult child's bluff. I told him to pack his $%^# and get out, called his dad and left a message for him to come get difficult child -- he'd find difficult child walking toward town.</p><p></p><p>difficult child was 17, and it was a hot, hot summer day. He packed his backpack and I showed him the door. Told him I'd left a message for his dad to pick him up -- they could meet up in the middle, OR NOT. And to call before he came to get the rest of his stuff to make sure I was home. </p><p></p><p>He left walking (we live in a rural area). He was gone about 1 1/2 hours and I was getting worried because I hadn't heard from either of them. About 2 hours went by and I glanced out the kitchen window, and there comes difficult child walking up the driveway (no backpack). </p><p></p><p>My mom was here and we sat chatting casually at the table. I heard difficult child walk onto the deck -- then nothing. Then I hear a knock on the back door, so I go to answer. Yes, it was difficult child. I unlocked the door, stuck my head out and said, "Why are you here?" He says, "It's hot and I'm thirsty. Can I get a drink of water?" I said, "I'll get it." I shut and locked the door.</p><p></p><p>I got the water for him and handed it outside. I asked where his dad was; he didn't know. I said, "Oh, well," closed the door, locked it, and walked away.</p><p></p><p>difficult child sat down on the back porch for a good while. Then he's knocking again. So I asked, "Why are you still here? What do you want now?" "Mmmm, Michelle (friend) wasn't home." Me: "Guess you'll need to call your other friends then or go to the homeless shelter. Whatever. Bye." </p><p></p><p>"Wait, wait, wait," says difficult child, "I don't have any where to go!" Me: I don't care. You WILL NOT live in my house being disrespectful and intentionally being in some sort of trouble. I don't have to live that way, and I WILL NOT."</p><p> </p><p>difficult child apologized profusely, promised yadda, yadda, and things went a lot smoother around here respect-wise.</p><p></p><p>There's a lot of backstory that goes with this, but in a nutshell, difficult child wanted to live with his dad (not in difficult child's best interest and Dad didn't want him anyway). For almost a year, with intent and forethought, difficult child set out to be "as bad as I can be so Mom will let me live with Dad." And let me tell you, when a hard-headed 17 yr old makes up his mind to be a hellcat, words just can't describe it....</p><p></p><p>difficult child learned several things:</p><p>1) Dear old dad just ain't what he's suppose to be</p><p>2) Friends suddenly disappear when hellcat needs a place to crash</p><p>3) Watch the smart mouth</p><p>4) Don't threaten mom with running away</p><p>5) Old mom has a break point so don't poke the bear and</p><p>6) If you must "run," make sure the weather is bearable. (He had thrown his backpack behind some weeds about 1/2 miles down the road because it was heavy and the heat was unbelievable. lol)</p><p></p><p>I suppose I lost one of my "mom" designations. "You care too much!" difficult child used to say in disgust. Haven't heard that one since this little incident...... Oh, well...whatever. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>And while it's minor that difficult child is not getting up in the mornings, it certainly is aggravating, stressful, and an awful way to start the day. I cured that problem by [pouring a tablespoon of ice-cold water on difficult child. I only had to do it a time or two.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/hamwheelsmilf.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hamwheelsmilf:" title="hamwheelsmilf :hamwheelsmilf:" data-shortname=":hamwheelsmilf:" /></p><p></p><p>Hope you can pick up an idea or two that might be suitable for your situation. Our little darlings can be tough.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sheila, post: 567291, member: 23"] Welcome 17 and bullet proof. I have one of those. lol Kids are different, laws in states vary, but I'll tell you what I did. I called difficult child's bluff. I told him to pack his $%^# and get out, called his dad and left a message for him to come get difficult child -- he'd find difficult child walking toward town. difficult child was 17, and it was a hot, hot summer day. He packed his backpack and I showed him the door. Told him I'd left a message for his dad to pick him up -- they could meet up in the middle, OR NOT. And to call before he came to get the rest of his stuff to make sure I was home. He left walking (we live in a rural area). He was gone about 1 1/2 hours and I was getting worried because I hadn't heard from either of them. About 2 hours went by and I glanced out the kitchen window, and there comes difficult child walking up the driveway (no backpack). My mom was here and we sat chatting casually at the table. I heard difficult child walk onto the deck -- then nothing. Then I hear a knock on the back door, so I go to answer. Yes, it was difficult child. I unlocked the door, stuck my head out and said, "Why are you here?" He says, "It's hot and I'm thirsty. Can I get a drink of water?" I said, "I'll get it." I shut and locked the door. I got the water for him and handed it outside. I asked where his dad was; he didn't know. I said, "Oh, well," closed the door, locked it, and walked away. difficult child sat down on the back porch for a good while. Then he's knocking again. So I asked, "Why are you still here? What do you want now?" "Mmmm, Michelle (friend) wasn't home." Me: "Guess you'll need to call your other friends then or go to the homeless shelter. Whatever. Bye." "Wait, wait, wait," says difficult child, "I don't have any where to go!" Me: I don't care. You WILL NOT live in my house being disrespectful and intentionally being in some sort of trouble. I don't have to live that way, and I WILL NOT." difficult child apologized profusely, promised yadda, yadda, and things went a lot smoother around here respect-wise. There's a lot of backstory that goes with this, but in a nutshell, difficult child wanted to live with his dad (not in difficult child's best interest and Dad didn't want him anyway). For almost a year, with intent and forethought, difficult child set out to be "as bad as I can be so Mom will let me live with Dad." And let me tell you, when a hard-headed 17 yr old makes up his mind to be a hellcat, words just can't describe it.... difficult child learned several things: 1) Dear old dad just ain't what he's suppose to be 2) Friends suddenly disappear when hellcat needs a place to crash 3) Watch the smart mouth 4) Don't threaten mom with running away 5) Old mom has a break point so don't poke the bear and 6) If you must "run," make sure the weather is bearable. (He had thrown his backpack behind some weeds about 1/2 miles down the road because it was heavy and the heat was unbelievable. lol) I suppose I lost one of my "mom" designations. "You care too much!" difficult child used to say in disgust. Haven't heard that one since this little incident...... Oh, well...whatever. :) And while it's minor that difficult child is not getting up in the mornings, it certainly is aggravating, stressful, and an awful way to start the day. I cured that problem by [pouring a tablespoon of ice-cold water on difficult child. I only had to do it a time or two.:hamwheelsmilf: Hope you can pick up an idea or two that might be suitable for your situation. Our little darlings can be tough. [/QUOTE]
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