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Sitting here alone and heart broken
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 689310" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Our duties as parents are to give them shelter, food, clothing and raise them to be self supporting adults. Now, sometimes while raising our kids life serves us a crap sandwich; either divorce, illness, loss of job, family members, money, drugs, alcohol. Now, we do try to love and help unconditonally, but sometimes, that is lost when adult children ruin their own lives by their decisions of their parents and family members. YOU lose the right to our love and help if you refuse to help yourself and continue in self destructive behavior.</p><p></p><p>No where is it written that parents are to love and help unconditionally no matter how bad our kids treat us or the decisions they make. There are boundaries and limits for each person.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter has an illness and needs to seek counseling and treatment for her issues. Her father was an alcoholic. Lots of folks had parents like that, including me. Do not allow her to suck you into that mind thinking that you ruined her, it's all your fault, blah blah. Stop it right there. YOU did the best you could. Did you make mistakes, sure, but haven't we all as parents. WE are not perfect people. Parents make mistakes.</p><p></p><p>Try and find community support group, in the US there is NAMI.org, ala-non, etc. Start there. You will see you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>Don't allow yourself to made to feel guilty about your daughter's behavior, decisions and you have to call the police. Our kids are always making us their scape-goats because it allows them in their mind to not own to their bad decisions, bad behavior, etc.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, lots of support here. Keep us updated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 689310, member: 19951"] Our duties as parents are to give them shelter, food, clothing and raise them to be self supporting adults. Now, sometimes while raising our kids life serves us a crap sandwich; either divorce, illness, loss of job, family members, money, drugs, alcohol. Now, we do try to love and help unconditonally, but sometimes, that is lost when adult children ruin their own lives by their decisions of their parents and family members. YOU lose the right to our love and help if you refuse to help yourself and continue in self destructive behavior. No where is it written that parents are to love and help unconditionally no matter how bad our kids treat us or the decisions they make. There are boundaries and limits for each person. Your daughter has an illness and needs to seek counseling and treatment for her issues. Her father was an alcoholic. Lots of folks had parents like that, including me. Do not allow her to suck you into that mind thinking that you ruined her, it's all your fault, blah blah. Stop it right there. YOU did the best you could. Did you make mistakes, sure, but haven't we all as parents. WE are not perfect people. Parents make mistakes. Try and find community support group, in the US there is NAMI.org, ala-non, etc. Start there. You will see you are not alone. Don't allow yourself to made to feel guilty about your daughter's behavior, decisions and you have to call the police. Our kids are always making us their scape-goats because it allows them in their mind to not own to their bad decisions, bad behavior, etc. Hugs, lots of support here. Keep us updated. [/QUOTE]
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