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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 739967" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Ah the ups and downs of recovery and rehab!!! OK so first ups and downs are normal. Second a lot of times they will be doing well, making progress, but then to you show all their doubts and dislikes.... so you may be seeing the worst but not the whole picture. I do think you need to get very clear what your stand is about sober living, iop is and his lease and apartment are. </p><p></p><p>Personally I think his going back to that apartment should not be an option because I think it is a pretty sure thing that will lead to relapse. I think you know that which is why this upsets you so much. So you may need to accept your losses on that....... assume he will break the lease etc. </p><p></p><p>I dont think you should talk to him about your boundaries yet. First I think you should talk and get advice from his counselor. Let them know your concerns. Let them know where you stand. Work with them, be part of their team. Let them talk to him about sober living and IOP. You stay out of it. Get their advice about your boundaries. Once you get clear on what your stand and boundaries are stick with them.</p><p></p><p>I know I am giving a lot of advice here which of course you are free to ignore.... it comes from way too much experience with this scenario!</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 739967, member: 15801"] Ah the ups and downs of recovery and rehab!!! OK so first ups and downs are normal. Second a lot of times they will be doing well, making progress, but then to you show all their doubts and dislikes.... so you may be seeing the worst but not the whole picture. I do think you need to get very clear what your stand is about sober living, iop is and his lease and apartment are. Personally I think his going back to that apartment should not be an option because I think it is a pretty sure thing that will lead to relapse. I think you know that which is why this upsets you so much. So you may need to accept your losses on that....... assume he will break the lease etc. I dont think you should talk to him about your boundaries yet. First I think you should talk and get advice from his counselor. Let them know your concerns. Let them know where you stand. Work with them, be part of their team. Let them talk to him about sober living and IOP. You stay out of it. Get their advice about your boundaries. Once you get clear on what your stand and boundaries are stick with them. I know I am giving a lot of advice here which of course you are free to ignore.... it comes from way too much experience with this scenario! TL [/QUOTE]
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