Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Sliding backwards
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nature" data-source="post: 740024" data-attributes="member: 19011"><p>I too have experience crushing conversations with my son when I thought he was on the road to recovery. His voice/words were like that of his previous addicted self that left me overwhelmed, hurt and sad thinking he had relapsed.</p><p> So true, when many have mentioned for every step forward sometimes it's too steps back. The small person inside them may respond to us from their hurt child like soul...give it a few days and the conversation may change back to an adult that he is. Yes, no doubt it's painful and hurtful and leaves you wounded. </p><p>When my son spoke to me that way it took a lot of control on my part not to respond back with anger. Instead, I turned around and walked out and said I will not allow you to speak to me that way. I set boundaries by ending the conversation. In his distress at the time (probably resulting from going through withdrawal) he was nasty and mean and his words cut through me like a knife. I chose ( like you do as well and have control over yourself not to engage in conversation with them when they are in that state) .</p><p>Your son has the power in himself to make changes but it must come from him. You can wait in the wings and provide encouragement and support but the willingness to change is his choice. Sometimes they react the most bitterly against the very people whom have always stood by them and yet resort to "temper tantrums" saying things that they may never say to strangers. Perhaps he resents your conversations with the councillor as if he were a child. I know my son does and may state that in anger that he's not a baby. Yet, at the same time they seek our help as if they were children. I think this leaves them angry and confused. Once they realize you are doing it not to seek control over his life but it's coming from care and concern they may round a corner in their path to recovery.</p><p>As for my son ...the bitterness, anger, and other things that were thrown out at me in that horrible conversation may have been his way of venting or releasing some anger issues. Not right to speak to me that way but I'm glad I didn't respond as it would have left both of us venting at each other. It seemed to be a breakthrough as a few days later his actions rather than words showed me his sincerity that he was sorry. I am still guarded by feeling hopeful. There is no right or wrong way for you and your son. I pray he finds the right path to choose and that you are comforted knowing that you are not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nature, post: 740024, member: 19011"] I too have experience crushing conversations with my son when I thought he was on the road to recovery. His voice/words were like that of his previous addicted self that left me overwhelmed, hurt and sad thinking he had relapsed. So true, when many have mentioned for every step forward sometimes it's too steps back. The small person inside them may respond to us from their hurt child like soul...give it a few days and the conversation may change back to an adult that he is. Yes, no doubt it's painful and hurtful and leaves you wounded. When my son spoke to me that way it took a lot of control on my part not to respond back with anger. Instead, I turned around and walked out and said I will not allow you to speak to me that way. I set boundaries by ending the conversation. In his distress at the time (probably resulting from going through withdrawal) he was nasty and mean and his words cut through me like a knife. I chose ( like you do as well and have control over yourself not to engage in conversation with them when they are in that state) . Your son has the power in himself to make changes but it must come from him. You can wait in the wings and provide encouragement and support but the willingness to change is his choice. Sometimes they react the most bitterly against the very people whom have always stood by them and yet resort to "temper tantrums" saying things that they may never say to strangers. Perhaps he resents your conversations with the councillor as if he were a child. I know my son does and may state that in anger that he's not a baby. Yet, at the same time they seek our help as if they were children. I think this leaves them angry and confused. Once they realize you are doing it not to seek control over his life but it's coming from care and concern they may round a corner in their path to recovery. As for my son ...the bitterness, anger, and other things that were thrown out at me in that horrible conversation may have been his way of venting or releasing some anger issues. Not right to speak to me that way but I'm glad I didn't respond as it would have left both of us venting at each other. It seemed to be a breakthrough as a few days later his actions rather than words showed me his sincerity that he was sorry. I am still guarded by feeling hopeful. There is no right or wrong way for you and your son. I pray he finds the right path to choose and that you are comforted knowing that you are not alone. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Sliding backwards
Top