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Slleping with the doors locked and now difficult child left
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 165980" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I know how it hurts and the doubts and the questions. It hurt so bad to tell my daughter she had to find another place to live. Fortunately, our situation wasn't as bad as yours. I could give her some time to find a place. Like you, I was afraid I'd protected her too much and that she wouldn't know how to go about getting an apartment, etc. Apparently, all the little talks we'd had through the years and my example did take in her. She did find an apartment (and a roommate just like her roflao). She is surviving. It is tough, but she's doing okay. So will yours.</p><p> </p><p>I also understand the feeling of just leave me out of it. It hasn't been fun telling my child that she'll find a way to pay her rent, to get along with her roomie, etc., but I've done it. It was that or come to her rescue. I decided saving her would ultimately be hurting her and that makes it easier to detach. I do want her to be a functioning adult and she can't be that if I keep bailing her out. </p><p> </p><p>I haven't gotten the suicide threats per se. She has told me she would be better off dead but that's about it. I have heard all about how little I love her, how cruel I am, etc. She has written me letters -- she just never has given them to me. Occasionally, I would find them when I couldn't take the condition of her room any longer. They were incredibly cruel letters but I took it as her way of venting and shed my tears in private and kept on doing what I felt was best for her.</p><p> </p><p>I'm glad you're busy for a few days. It will help. You are doing the right thing -- for her, for you. She needs to learn that she has to do for her, not the world. She won't learn that living with you. You deserve to be safe. Your home doesn't deserve the turmoil. She is an adult. It is time for her to start growing up.</p><p> </p><p>Many hugs. I know what you're going through. She will survive. She may even grow up a little and start appreciating the mother you have been and are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 165980, member: 3626"] I know how it hurts and the doubts and the questions. It hurt so bad to tell my daughter she had to find another place to live. Fortunately, our situation wasn't as bad as yours. I could give her some time to find a place. Like you, I was afraid I'd protected her too much and that she wouldn't know how to go about getting an apartment, etc. Apparently, all the little talks we'd had through the years and my example did take in her. She did find an apartment (and a roommate just like her roflao). She is surviving. It is tough, but she's doing okay. So will yours. I also understand the feeling of just leave me out of it. It hasn't been fun telling my child that she'll find a way to pay her rent, to get along with her roomie, etc., but I've done it. It was that or come to her rescue. I decided saving her would ultimately be hurting her and that makes it easier to detach. I do want her to be a functioning adult and she can't be that if I keep bailing her out. I haven't gotten the suicide threats per se. She has told me she would be better off dead but that's about it. I have heard all about how little I love her, how cruel I am, etc. She has written me letters -- she just never has given them to me. Occasionally, I would find them when I couldn't take the condition of her room any longer. They were incredibly cruel letters but I took it as her way of venting and shed my tears in private and kept on doing what I felt was best for her. I'm glad you're busy for a few days. It will help. You are doing the right thing -- for her, for you. She needs to learn that she has to do for her, not the world. She won't learn that living with you. You deserve to be safe. Your home doesn't deserve the turmoil. She is an adult. It is time for her to start growing up. Many hugs. I know what you're going through. She will survive. She may even grow up a little and start appreciating the mother you have been and are. [/QUOTE]
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Slleping with the doors locked and now difficult child left
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