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Substance Abuse
So angry...
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<blockquote data-quote="Lost in sadness" data-source="post: 725000" data-attributes="member: 21056"><p>I rang the credit agency and told them what my son had done. It turns out he had removed me from being guarantor anyway. Guess he believed me! They have reported it to their internal fraud team at my request. This means should he try again it will flag up. I have not reported it to the police. How come you all speak wise words and at the moment I feel I have not got a clue. It all makes such sense - SWOT your bit about relationships, or course that makes sense! What do I really have? Copabanana and Kathy, what AM I teaching him by not following through, absolutely nothing about boundaries and respect! I seem to live for the good bits and lose myself in the bad. I am still not grasping how someone can be in such a better place and then go all the way back again! It simply makes no sense to me. I think I allow some of it because I wonder whether his personality disorder takes over and he needs help, not to be left with no support, home or food by his own mother! Its guilt, I understand that. I do read the detachment article and it makes sense and it helps but only momentarily and then my guilt and pain creeps in again and I feel the overwhelming desire to contact him and check he is ok. The fact is, in some ways, I am happier without him in my life but I now realise it is only if I know he has somewhere to live and food to eat otherwise it just eats me up. I'm thinking that the real conflict is within me, the variation between what I AM doing and what I SHOULD be doing. I too am un-boundaried and flaky. Something I had not realised before. A deep, sad evening for me. Thank you all, again. You really do help me. xx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lost in sadness, post: 725000, member: 21056"] I rang the credit agency and told them what my son had done. It turns out he had removed me from being guarantor anyway. Guess he believed me! They have reported it to their internal fraud team at my request. This means should he try again it will flag up. I have not reported it to the police. How come you all speak wise words and at the moment I feel I have not got a clue. It all makes such sense - SWOT your bit about relationships, or course that makes sense! What do I really have? Copabanana and Kathy, what AM I teaching him by not following through, absolutely nothing about boundaries and respect! I seem to live for the good bits and lose myself in the bad. I am still not grasping how someone can be in such a better place and then go all the way back again! It simply makes no sense to me. I think I allow some of it because I wonder whether his personality disorder takes over and he needs help, not to be left with no support, home or food by his own mother! Its guilt, I understand that. I do read the detachment article and it makes sense and it helps but only momentarily and then my guilt and pain creeps in again and I feel the overwhelming desire to contact him and check he is ok. The fact is, in some ways, I am happier without him in my life but I now realise it is only if I know he has somewhere to live and food to eat otherwise it just eats me up. I'm thinking that the real conflict is within me, the variation between what I AM doing and what I SHOULD be doing. I too am un-boundaried and flaky. Something I had not realised before. A deep, sad evening for me. Thank you all, again. You really do help me. xx [/QUOTE]
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