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Substance Abuse
So angry...
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<blockquote data-quote="Lost in sadness" data-source="post: 725090" data-attributes="member: 21056"><p>Thank you SWOT, RN0441,Kathy813 for your replies and words of wisdom. It is of great comfort. I don't feel well, i look ill, and I am arguing with my husband. The emotion is just under the surface and just writing this, the tears flow. Is this my 'rock bottom', again?</p><p></p><p>I love my husband and I need him to talk to but he has simply had enough. He feels our whole life is either talking about or dealing with my son. I switch between agreeing with him and feeling better for talking and snapping and having a go at him, accusing him of being hard and unfeeling.</p><p></p><p>He has said my son is not welcome in our house at Christmas. My 15 year old daughter agrees. I rang my brother for some moral support and he agreed to!! So...I am alone. If I am honest I do not want him here. But, its Christmas, how can I possibly leave him alone??? Its so painful, it twists in my stomach like a knife. I tried to suggest this morning that we just pick him up for Christmas day and my husband just looked at me tight lipped, guess that was a 'no'.</p><p></p><p>On a brighter note, my son appears to look like he has secured a job with his second interview tomorrow. I am hopeful. I messaged him yesterday and told him he was not welcome for Christmas because I felt strong doing it and yet today, in light that he may have a job I feel differently. Here, I go, saying one thing, doing another! I know, I know! He says, he hopes we will re-consider. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>I also messaged his landlord yesterday and came clean on the situation, telling her we would cover his rent over the Christmas period but that was it and she could give notice. Yesterday it felt the right thing to do, today I am regretting it! I am angry at myself for sharing such personal details and feel guilty that I have discussed my son. What was I thinking? Maybe I just wasn't. She never replied and it makes it worse! My anxiety is intense. I worry she will now want him out now she knows I lied. My husband says, "who cares what she thinks, what impact is it on us, she isn't interested in the detail she just wants her rent money', and I shouldn't feel bad about what I have said, they are my sons issues not mine. I guess he is right.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could send him to some dry/rehab house. Nothing here without paying and no shelters or food kitchens locally. Its tough.</p><p></p><p>Another day in paradise..... Hugs all for a lovely day. xx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lost in sadness, post: 725090, member: 21056"] Thank you SWOT, RN0441,Kathy813 for your replies and words of wisdom. It is of great comfort. I don't feel well, i look ill, and I am arguing with my husband. The emotion is just under the surface and just writing this, the tears flow. Is this my 'rock bottom', again? I love my husband and I need him to talk to but he has simply had enough. He feels our whole life is either talking about or dealing with my son. I switch between agreeing with him and feeling better for talking and snapping and having a go at him, accusing him of being hard and unfeeling. He has said my son is not welcome in our house at Christmas. My 15 year old daughter agrees. I rang my brother for some moral support and he agreed to!! So...I am alone. If I am honest I do not want him here. But, its Christmas, how can I possibly leave him alone??? Its so painful, it twists in my stomach like a knife. I tried to suggest this morning that we just pick him up for Christmas day and my husband just looked at me tight lipped, guess that was a 'no'. On a brighter note, my son appears to look like he has secured a job with his second interview tomorrow. I am hopeful. I messaged him yesterday and told him he was not welcome for Christmas because I felt strong doing it and yet today, in light that he may have a job I feel differently. Here, I go, saying one thing, doing another! I know, I know! He says, he hopes we will re-consider. :( I also messaged his landlord yesterday and came clean on the situation, telling her we would cover his rent over the Christmas period but that was it and she could give notice. Yesterday it felt the right thing to do, today I am regretting it! I am angry at myself for sharing such personal details and feel guilty that I have discussed my son. What was I thinking? Maybe I just wasn't. She never replied and it makes it worse! My anxiety is intense. I worry she will now want him out now she knows I lied. My husband says, "who cares what she thinks, what impact is it on us, she isn't interested in the detail she just wants her rent money', and I shouldn't feel bad about what I have said, they are my sons issues not mine. I guess he is right. I wish I could send him to some dry/rehab house. Nothing here without paying and no shelters or food kitchens locally. Its tough. Another day in paradise..... Hugs all for a lovely day. xx [/QUOTE]
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