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Substance Abuse
So confused
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 509572" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi and welcome. You're not alone. In my opinion, pot is the route to this lazy, unmotivated dissipation we see in our kids around your son's age and younger. Pot for these kids is not "benign" --it's a disaster. Assuming your son is able-bodied, with no mental or physical disabilities, he should WANT to work, support himself, get an education and grow up. Pot emotionally stunts them and they get stuck in the dissipation and quicksand of dependence. You're parents, not prison guards, not psychologists, not drug counselors. Your home is yours, and you have every right to set boundaries and parameters for the safety and sanctity of your family. Home should be a sanctuary, not a battleground. If your son disagrees, too bad...he can support himself and live in his own place according to his rules. Your job is to love your kid and do what you can to get him to adulthood relatively unscathed. The rest is up to him.</p><p>My advice would be to set a timeline and stick to it. If community college is a bore, he has to get a full-time job. If that is not appealing, then trade school may be best. If that isn't his style, there's always military service. He has to know you're serious, and if he senses you are, he will probably act out more, just to spite you. But remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. You're doing this for his benefit. He has to learn to solve his own problems and this is where it begins. He's almost 19 and a legal adult. You don't have to put up with this in your own house, and you don't have to feel guilty about it, either. Keep checking back here...you'll get good advice and support. In the meantime, breathe!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 509572, member: 13882"] Hi and welcome. You're not alone. In my opinion, pot is the route to this lazy, unmotivated dissipation we see in our kids around your son's age and younger. Pot for these kids is not "benign" --it's a disaster. Assuming your son is able-bodied, with no mental or physical disabilities, he should WANT to work, support himself, get an education and grow up. Pot emotionally stunts them and they get stuck in the dissipation and quicksand of dependence. You're parents, not prison guards, not psychologists, not drug counselors. Your home is yours, and you have every right to set boundaries and parameters for the safety and sanctity of your family. Home should be a sanctuary, not a battleground. If your son disagrees, too bad...he can support himself and live in his own place according to his rules. Your job is to love your kid and do what you can to get him to adulthood relatively unscathed. The rest is up to him. My advice would be to set a timeline and stick to it. If community college is a bore, he has to get a full-time job. If that is not appealing, then trade school may be best. If that isn't his style, there's always military service. He has to know you're serious, and if he senses you are, he will probably act out more, just to spite you. But remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. You're doing this for his benefit. He has to learn to solve his own problems and this is where it begins. He's almost 19 and a legal adult. You don't have to put up with this in your own house, and you don't have to feel guilty about it, either. Keep checking back here...you'll get good advice and support. In the meantime, breathe! [/QUOTE]
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