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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 509593" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hi vligrl and welcome to the CD board!!</p><p></p><p>Yes, many of us have gone through what you are going through. My difficult child has started and stopped college more times than I can count. The last time, since she was over 24, she was eligible for pell grants and a ridiculous amount of FASFA money. She ended up with a $20,000 debt for a year of school and she didn't finish a single class. She used the money to live on and told us later that she had been drinking too much to be able to go to her classes or complete the work.</p><p></p><p>This is a girl that went to dual enrollment her senior year of high school and graduated from high school with an entire year of college finished. Her addictions to pot, pills, and alcohol, sapped any motivation out of her after that. She did have one other semester when she lived at home and managed to take four classes and finish with a 3.5 GPA. The next semester she went down the tubes again.</p><p></p><p>I don't think your difficult child will be able to be successful in school until he gets help for his drug problem. Yes, I know some kids can go to college and smoke pot occasionally and still do well but I equate them to social drinkers who don't have addictive personalities. Our kids can't use drugs on an occasional basis. It becomes their whole point of existence.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like your son is far down that road. The problem is that he won't admit it until he is forced to. I would continue doing what you are doing about the car. I would not give him three months if he drops out of school (or flunks out). I would tell him now that if he ends up dropping out or flunking out, he will have one month to find a job and move out. He will know that he is flunking out before it happens so he will have plenty of time to be looking for a job. </p><p></p><p>The longer you give him the harder he will make it on you. in my humble opinion, you need to draw a line in the sand. No drugs in your house and going to school and doing well or moving out. In the meantime, lock up all of your valuables. People using drugs often lie and steal to get them. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already. If he is not working, where is he getting the money to smoke pot and go to raves?</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry that you had to find us but glad you did. We have all either been where you are right now or are dealing with similar issues.</p><p></p><p>It would help if you created a signature like you see at the bottom of my post. Here is a link to help:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/signatures-8399/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/signatures-8399/</a></p><p></p><p>Here is a list of acronyms that we use frequently:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/board-abbreviations-acronyms-8/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/board-abbreviations-acronyms-8/</a></p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 509593, member: 1967"] Hi vligrl and welcome to the CD board!! Yes, many of us have gone through what you are going through. My difficult child has started and stopped college more times than I can count. The last time, since she was over 24, she was eligible for pell grants and a ridiculous amount of FASFA money. She ended up with a $20,000 debt for a year of school and she didn't finish a single class. She used the money to live on and told us later that she had been drinking too much to be able to go to her classes or complete the work. This is a girl that went to dual enrollment her senior year of high school and graduated from high school with an entire year of college finished. Her addictions to pot, pills, and alcohol, sapped any motivation out of her after that. She did have one other semester when she lived at home and managed to take four classes and finish with a 3.5 GPA. The next semester she went down the tubes again. I don't think your difficult child will be able to be successful in school until he gets help for his drug problem. Yes, I know some kids can go to college and smoke pot occasionally and still do well but I equate them to social drinkers who don't have addictive personalities. Our kids can't use drugs on an occasional basis. It becomes their whole point of existence. It sounds like your son is far down that road. The problem is that he won't admit it until he is forced to. I would continue doing what you are doing about the car. I would not give him three months if he drops out of school (or flunks out). I would tell him now that if he ends up dropping out or flunking out, he will have one month to find a job and move out. He will know that he is flunking out before it happens so he will have plenty of time to be looking for a job. The longer you give him the harder he will make it on you. in my humble opinion, you need to draw a line in the sand. No drugs in your house and going to school and doing well or moving out. In the meantime, lock up all of your valuables. People using drugs often lie and steal to get them. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already. If he is not working, where is he getting the money to smoke pot and go to raves? I'm sorry that you had to find us but glad you did. We have all either been where you are right now or are dealing with similar issues. It would help if you created a signature like you see at the bottom of my post. Here is a link to help: [url]http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/signatures-8399/[/url] Here is a list of acronyms that we use frequently: [url]http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/board-abbreviations-acronyms-8/[/url] ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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