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Substance Abuse
So confused
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 509605" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Is the car in your name? Is he still on your insurance? </p><p></p><p>Others may disagree with me but I would not put myself through getting up and driving him back and forth to college. I actually tried that my difficult child's senior year in high school and it drove me crazy. Are you going to sit in the car and wait while he is in class?</p><p></p><p>If it is his car, I would put the car in his name and get him his own insurance policy. We did this with our difficult child to protect us from any liability. </p><p></p><p>Then, I would tell him what I advised in my last post. I assume that he will need the car to get a job anyway. Now if this is the family car, that changes things.</p><p></p><p>The hardest thing for us here on the Substance Abuse forum is to learn to detach. It goes against every fiber of our mommy hearts. Your son is a legal adult, though, and you cannot control his behavior. At this point, he has to learn from natural consequeces which sadly can include loss of an education, rehab, estrangement from family, and even jail.</p><p></p><p>There is a saying in AA and NA that we use here: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. </p><p></p><p>by the way, are you a single mom? You didn't mention a husband. I just ask because I imagine it would be a lot harder if you don't have a support system. </p><p></p><p>ETA: I would only let him use the car to go back and forth to school.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 509605, member: 1967"] Is the car in your name? Is he still on your insurance? Others may disagree with me but I would not put myself through getting up and driving him back and forth to college. I actually tried that my difficult child's senior year in high school and it drove me crazy. Are you going to sit in the car and wait while he is in class? If it is his car, I would put the car in his name and get him his own insurance policy. We did this with our difficult child to protect us from any liability. Then, I would tell him what I advised in my last post. I assume that he will need the car to get a job anyway. Now if this is the family car, that changes things. The hardest thing for us here on the Substance Abuse forum is to learn to detach. It goes against every fiber of our mommy hearts. Your son is a legal adult, though, and you cannot control his behavior. At this point, he has to learn from natural consequeces which sadly can include loss of an education, rehab, estrangement from family, and even jail. There is a saying in AA and NA that we use here: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. by the way, are you a single mom? You didn't mention a husband. I just ask because I imagine it would be a lot harder if you don't have a support system. ETA: I would only let him use the car to go back and forth to school. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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