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Family of Origin
So it's over for good
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 732597" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>There is so much pain in this post, swot. it really really is not yours to bear. As you have described throughout the years you were designated as the identified patient in your family, by your mother, a means for her to deal with her own pain and lack. She perceived it to be about you. Your sister grew up in this world view, took on so much of your mother's personality, and targeted you too.</p><p></p><p>This is not to let her off the hook. She could at any point have sought help to deal with her pain and limitations without a scapegoat. She chooses not too. It is just too easy to keep on acting out. She does this to handle her own emotions, in a very regressive way, as you describe.</p><p></p><p>I am hearing on the radio about a killer on the loose for 24 years. Beginning in 1974 he killed 12 and raped 50 women. They are saying that he would call his victims many years later just to terrorize them. This must have gratified him, and gave him, a powerless person, a sense of power .</p><p></p><p>I found myself thinking of your sister. While her acts are not criminal, the mechanism may be the same. She us dependent upon you, acting out against you, in order to live. Until she sees this she will never be free. But will be forever tied to you.</p><p></p><p>I think we work for freedom. I do not believe I have it. I have the possibility of it each day. Now. So do you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 732597, member: 18958"] There is so much pain in this post, swot. it really really is not yours to bear. As you have described throughout the years you were designated as the identified patient in your family, by your mother, a means for her to deal with her own pain and lack. She perceived it to be about you. Your sister grew up in this world view, took on so much of your mother's personality, and targeted you too. This is not to let her off the hook. She could at any point have sought help to deal with her pain and limitations without a scapegoat. She chooses not too. It is just too easy to keep on acting out. She does this to handle her own emotions, in a very regressive way, as you describe. I am hearing on the radio about a killer on the loose for 24 years. Beginning in 1974 he killed 12 and raped 50 women. They are saying that he would call his victims many years later just to terrorize them. This must have gratified him, and gave him, a powerless person, a sense of power . I found myself thinking of your sister. While her acts are not criminal, the mechanism may be the same. She us dependent upon you, acting out against you, in order to live. Until she sees this she will never be free. But will be forever tied to you. I think we work for freedom. I do not believe I have it. I have the possibility of it each day. Now. So do you. [/QUOTE]
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