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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 707830" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>I am sorry to hear what you are going through. It was hell on earth for me. There really is no other way to describe it. My son went off the rails at 15. I recently had a picture of him and my older son pop up on Timehop. It was from right before the trouble started with youngest son. I am so glad I did not know what was ahead of me or I would have run for the hills! It made me so sad to see that because I really mourn for that time when he and our family were all still undamaged by all the hell that followed.</p><p></p><p>Your son is very young and that makes it even harder. But you cannot allow his behavior to continue. I still block my son when he says or does things I do not approve of and it bothers him. Good. I have been seeing a therapist to help me form healthy boundaries with him. He needs it as much as I do. He is slowly moving in the right direction but at a snail's pace. I know if we had not sent him away when we did nothing would have changed. He said today he is working and going to school now. He is happy about that. He could not do that here for some reason. We tried it many times.</p><p></p><p>You are very lucky you have a place for him to go. I would not let him return under ANY circumstances. Even if he went to rehab - which sounds like what he needs - he'd have to go to sober living or someplace else. It never worked out having our son back home. It didn't last. </p><p></p><p>We love our kids unconditionally but our love has CONDITIONS! I learned that from my therapist. I needed to hear that. I was so confused. </p><p></p><p>I hope that you have a significant other or friends or someone that you can talk to for support. I felt my friends needed a break so I found a therapist and she really helped me through the rough spots. She has since left so I am thinking about taking her recommendation to see someone else once a month or so. This is not a sprint, it is a long and hard journey for most of us.</p><p></p><p>The good new is we are here for you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 707830, member: 15032"] I am sorry to hear what you are going through. It was hell on earth for me. There really is no other way to describe it. My son went off the rails at 15. I recently had a picture of him and my older son pop up on Timehop. It was from right before the trouble started with youngest son. I am so glad I did not know what was ahead of me or I would have run for the hills! It made me so sad to see that because I really mourn for that time when he and our family were all still undamaged by all the hell that followed. Your son is very young and that makes it even harder. But you cannot allow his behavior to continue. I still block my son when he says or does things I do not approve of and it bothers him. Good. I have been seeing a therapist to help me form healthy boundaries with him. He needs it as much as I do. He is slowly moving in the right direction but at a snail's pace. I know if we had not sent him away when we did nothing would have changed. He said today he is working and going to school now. He is happy about that. He could not do that here for some reason. We tried it many times. You are very lucky you have a place for him to go. I would not let him return under ANY circumstances. Even if he went to rehab - which sounds like what he needs - he'd have to go to sober living or someplace else. It never worked out having our son back home. It didn't last. We love our kids unconditionally but our love has CONDITIONS! I learned that from my therapist. I needed to hear that. I was so confused. I hope that you have a significant other or friends or someone that you can talk to for support. I felt my friends needed a break so I found a therapist and she really helped me through the rough spots. She has since left so I am thinking about taking her recommendation to see someone else once a month or so. This is not a sprint, it is a long and hard journey for most of us. The good new is we are here for you! [/QUOTE]
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