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<blockquote data-quote="CDN_DAD_in_tough" data-source="post: 704714" data-attributes="member: 21175"><p>...</p><p>A few points to kind of clarify things...</p><p></p><p>We have been trying to find a way to get him some sort of therapy for months now. We've had sessions arranged and at the time he just refuses to go. "Nah I'm not going." "I'm fine you're the problem <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />." Myself and my family members (brother and sister) have tried a sort of intervention where we went over and sat with him and tried to talk him into making some changes and what not. No help at all. He finds parties to go to on instagram and he just goes. Doesn't even tell us where. Occasionally we get a text - "pick me up now." Never a please or anything. He seems to have zero empathy and no concern for anyone else's needs. He doesn't eat...he'll get up, go to school, find friends to hang with after school, sometimes get high...come home at 9 or 10 and eat for the first time all day. It's freaking terrifying! Just so messed up. </p><p></p><p>Up until a year ago when my marriage dissolved, anyone who knew us would have thought we had things reasonably together. We weren't rich or anything but we had a small comfortable home, enough money to pay the bills and have some nice things, no drug or alcohol problems on our (my wife and I) parts...now a year later here we are and I'm confronted by the realization that my life for more than a decade has been a simmering stew of toxic dysfunction. I'm incredibly tired both of dealing with this situation, and of being a burden to my own family. I'm a private sort of person (probably a contributing factor in all this really), and having all my dirty laundry aired out on a daily basis is extremely unpleasant for me. </p><p></p><p>My plan at this point is to lay down a set of fairly strict rules he has to accept before he comes back. He can have his phone (although we cancelled the cell plan for now so it's essentially an Ipod) but we have to have access to it on request and know the password. Wifi in the house goes off at 11 every night (as does the TV and videogames and so forth). He has to maintain the same schedule every day of the week - up early and in bed by 11. 10:00 curfew - we have to know where he is and if he needs a ride its at ten no later. He has to attend school. Has to communicate respectfully. So on...</p><p></p><p>I have little confidence in it working for long. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CDN_DAD_in_tough, post: 704714, member: 21175"] ... A few points to kind of clarify things... We have been trying to find a way to get him some sort of therapy for months now. We've had sessions arranged and at the time he just refuses to go. "Nah I'm not going." "I'm fine you're the problem :censored2:." Myself and my family members (brother and sister) have tried a sort of intervention where we went over and sat with him and tried to talk him into making some changes and what not. No help at all. He finds parties to go to on instagram and he just goes. Doesn't even tell us where. Occasionally we get a text - "pick me up now." Never a please or anything. He seems to have zero empathy and no concern for anyone else's needs. He doesn't eat...he'll get up, go to school, find friends to hang with after school, sometimes get high...come home at 9 or 10 and eat for the first time all day. It's freaking terrifying! Just so messed up. Up until a year ago when my marriage dissolved, anyone who knew us would have thought we had things reasonably together. We weren't rich or anything but we had a small comfortable home, enough money to pay the bills and have some nice things, no drug or alcohol problems on our (my wife and I) parts...now a year later here we are and I'm confronted by the realization that my life for more than a decade has been a simmering stew of toxic dysfunction. I'm incredibly tired both of dealing with this situation, and of being a burden to my own family. I'm a private sort of person (probably a contributing factor in all this really), and having all my dirty laundry aired out on a daily basis is extremely unpleasant for me. My plan at this point is to lay down a set of fairly strict rules he has to accept before he comes back. He can have his phone (although we cancelled the cell plan for now so it's essentially an Ipod) but we have to have access to it on request and know the password. Wifi in the house goes off at 11 every night (as does the TV and videogames and so forth). He has to maintain the same schedule every day of the week - up early and in bed by 11. 10:00 curfew - we have to know where he is and if he needs a ride its at ten no later. He has to attend school. Has to communicate respectfully. So on... I have little confidence in it working for long. :( [/QUOTE]
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