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Substance Abuse
Someone please help me understand addiction.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758281" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>lovemyson. Regardless of how your son died, he was a hero. To me, everything that you have ever written about him, from the time he relapsed when he was in Victory Outreach, I felt how loving he was, his dignity and his goodness. I hope you accept tht there is no shame in the way he died. </p><p></p><p>I am thinking here of the parents who have lost children in the school massacres. How they speak out and reach out to other parents who come to suffer in the same or similar ways. These parents have in common that their children were robbed of their destinies, and with that, the parents too. Your son was no less a victim than these children. That he was a victim of something in himself does not change who he was.</p><p></p><p>At the same time, while your son was robbed of his destiny, by addiction, he played a role. I am going to say something hard here, lovemyson. I wonder if you on some level feel anger at him. Your son by taking the drug robbed you of the future that could have been. You were robbed of your destiny, lovemyson. Of his marriage, of grandchildren. So many, many things. It is not only heartbreaking. It is wrong. It should not have happened.</p><p></p><p>Often the thing that makes grief and mourning so hard is the little bit of anger that we bury deeply. We're not supposed to be angry at the dead. Especially if that person we love more than we love life itself. And sometimes mourning becomes so intractible for this very reason. I don't write this that you hurt more. I write this so that your suffering lessens.</p><p></p><p>Deep inside of us, we hope that if we sacrifice ourselves we can somehow reverse what is. We would give our lives that they would be spared. By this, too, we can punish ourselves for our anger.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if there's anything more to understand lovemyson, about addiction, except that it robbed your son and you and his Dad of the destiny that should have been. And that is wrong and unfair and should not have happened. But it did. Your son took that drug because he was an addict. And at the end this horror overtook all of the other things he was and could have had and could have been. It should never have happened.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758281, member: 18958"] lovemyson. Regardless of how your son died, he was a hero. To me, everything that you have ever written about him, from the time he relapsed when he was in Victory Outreach, I felt how loving he was, his dignity and his goodness. I hope you accept tht there is no shame in the way he died. I am thinking here of the parents who have lost children in the school massacres. How they speak out and reach out to other parents who come to suffer in the same or similar ways. These parents have in common that their children were robbed of their destinies, and with that, the parents too. Your son was no less a victim than these children. That he was a victim of something in himself does not change who he was. At the same time, while your son was robbed of his destiny, by addiction, he played a role. I am going to say something hard here, lovemyson. I wonder if you on some level feel anger at him. Your son by taking the drug robbed you of the future that could have been. You were robbed of your destiny, lovemyson. Of his marriage, of grandchildren. So many, many things. It is not only heartbreaking. It is wrong. It should not have happened. Often the thing that makes grief and mourning so hard is the little bit of anger that we bury deeply. We're not supposed to be angry at the dead. Especially if that person we love more than we love life itself. And sometimes mourning becomes so intractible for this very reason. I don't write this that you hurt more. I write this so that your suffering lessens. Deep inside of us, we hope that if we sacrifice ourselves we can somehow reverse what is. We would give our lives that they would be spared. By this, too, we can punish ourselves for our anger. I wonder if there's anything more to understand lovemyson, about addiction, except that it robbed your son and you and his Dad of the destiny that should have been. And that is wrong and unfair and should not have happened. But it did. Your son took that drug because he was an addict. And at the end this horror overtook all of the other things he was and could have had and could have been. It should never have happened. [/QUOTE]
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Someone please help me understand addiction.
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