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Son 21, stealing, denying, swearing.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tired out" data-source="post: 747740" data-attributes="member: 23103"><p>Well. Here I am. I stayed away for a while. I decided I needed to observe our situation and try not to read into things my son said/text by inserting (in my head) things I was reading here.</p><p>The short of it is. I could have saved myself a lot of money and grief by listening to SWOT right off the bat when I 1st found this sight. She basically said, cut him off, no funds, let him figure it out. </p><p>He moved out, got kicked out of where he went, him and girl(friend) moved in together. We helped them with the security and 1st moths rent ( I couldn't stand the idea of him being homeless). He got fired from and job (he had it when he lived with us, well paying, only lasted 5 months, he got fired a month after he moved out) then got another job lasted 6 months was doing ok, money tight, we helped a little, I could see where the money was going (my name was on the checking account since he was using the one I had originally opened with him when he was 16, 1st job) No drugs, just car payment,insurance, rent, utilities, food. He got fired , was with out a job for February got a new job that started March 1st , we helped with (his half) rent, yes I allowed him to manipulate me into that. </p><p></p><p>He is making decent money and can cover his bills (pretty easily with about $125 extra/week) if he chooses too. I could see he wasn't paying his bills, just blowing the money.</p><p></p><p>I asked him September to meet me at the bank to take my name off account, we got there and he didn't have his license for ID. I left it go until last week then last Friday I asked him to meet me at the bank to take my name off, he said ok , then cancelled. He said he could do it Monday because he wasn't working until 2pm, changing to 2nd shift he said. This morning I texted him to ask if he could meet me at 10 at the bank? He said he was working 1st shift till 12 then he could meet me at 1. I drove past his apartment, he was out back in his car and his girlfriend and a guy came out of the apartment and got in his car. He didn't see me until he drove towards the exit and I stopped right in front of him. We were face to face. I shook my head and drove towards home. My phone went off pretty quickly, him swearing at me about staling him and being creepy coming by his apt (actually it was on my way home from grocery store - it was just timing!) I said either meet me at the bank at 11 or I am just closing the account (we both have to be present to remove a name)</p><p>Then he texted told me , I've been paying all my bills BUT I forgot to pay rent (it was due 4/1) can you help me?" I looked at the checking account for the last 4 weeks... he blew through all the money every week, didn't pay any bills at all. restaurants, gas, fast food, Starbucks, grocery store, pet store, SERIOUSLY $5-600/week gone in 4-days!!</p><p>I replied with, "meet me at the bank at 11. to take my name off account"</p><p>He met me at the bank, wants to know why I am being such a beach and his girlfriend is pissed that I drove by like that. </p><p>I grew a pair of.... I turned on him and quietly said, "I don't give a flyin flip what that girl likes or doesn't like. I don't care what you like or don't like. I am not enabling you anymore. It is completely unfair for you to ask me for help and then totally disrespect me and my time. Now let's just go in the bank, remove my name and you will have all the privacy you can possibly wish for." we went in and did it. We walked out together. Outside I said to him. From now on I am your mom, not your loan officer or you banker or accountant. I love you and it is time for you to lead your life. He walked away got in his car. no reply. I wonder if he will pay his bills or get evicted, care repossessed? </p><p></p><p>There is my story of stupidity and a mom that didn't want to let the son that swore and stole live under a bridge. All I did is prolong my own anxiety.</p><p>Now I need to let go and when some one asks..I have 2 children Jill and Alex. Great adult kids.</p><p></p><p>Listen to SWOT.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tired out, post: 747740, member: 23103"] Well. Here I am. I stayed away for a while. I decided I needed to observe our situation and try not to read into things my son said/text by inserting (in my head) things I was reading here. The short of it is. I could have saved myself a lot of money and grief by listening to SWOT right off the bat when I 1st found this sight. She basically said, cut him off, no funds, let him figure it out. He moved out, got kicked out of where he went, him and girl(friend) moved in together. We helped them with the security and 1st moths rent ( I couldn't stand the idea of him being homeless). He got fired from and job (he had it when he lived with us, well paying, only lasted 5 months, he got fired a month after he moved out) then got another job lasted 6 months was doing ok, money tight, we helped a little, I could see where the money was going (my name was on the checking account since he was using the one I had originally opened with him when he was 16, 1st job) No drugs, just car payment,insurance, rent, utilities, food. He got fired , was with out a job for February got a new job that started March 1st , we helped with (his half) rent, yes I allowed him to manipulate me into that. He is making decent money and can cover his bills (pretty easily with about $125 extra/week) if he chooses too. I could see he wasn't paying his bills, just blowing the money. I asked him September to meet me at the bank to take my name off account, we got there and he didn't have his license for ID. I left it go until last week then last Friday I asked him to meet me at the bank to take my name off, he said ok , then cancelled. He said he could do it Monday because he wasn't working until 2pm, changing to 2nd shift he said. This morning I texted him to ask if he could meet me at 10 at the bank? He said he was working 1st shift till 12 then he could meet me at 1. I drove past his apartment, he was out back in his car and his girlfriend and a guy came out of the apartment and got in his car. He didn't see me until he drove towards the exit and I stopped right in front of him. We were face to face. I shook my head and drove towards home. My phone went off pretty quickly, him swearing at me about staling him and being creepy coming by his apt (actually it was on my way home from grocery store - it was just timing!) I said either meet me at the bank at 11 or I am just closing the account (we both have to be present to remove a name) Then he texted told me , I've been paying all my bills BUT I forgot to pay rent (it was due 4/1) can you help me?" I looked at the checking account for the last 4 weeks... he blew through all the money every week, didn't pay any bills at all. restaurants, gas, fast food, Starbucks, grocery store, pet store, SERIOUSLY $5-600/week gone in 4-days!! I replied with, "meet me at the bank at 11. to take my name off account" He met me at the bank, wants to know why I am being such a beach and his girlfriend is pissed that I drove by like that. I grew a pair of.... I turned on him and quietly said, "I don't give a flyin flip what that girl likes or doesn't like. I don't care what you like or don't like. I am not enabling you anymore. It is completely unfair for you to ask me for help and then totally disrespect me and my time. Now let's just go in the bank, remove my name and you will have all the privacy you can possibly wish for." we went in and did it. We walked out together. Outside I said to him. From now on I am your mom, not your loan officer or you banker or accountant. I love you and it is time for you to lead your life. He walked away got in his car. no reply. I wonder if he will pay his bills or get evicted, care repossessed? There is my story of stupidity and a mom that didn't want to let the son that swore and stole live under a bridge. All I did is prolong my own anxiety. Now I need to let go and when some one asks..I have 2 children Jill and Alex. Great adult kids. Listen to SWOT. [/QUOTE]
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Son 21, stealing, denying, swearing.
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