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Failure to Thrive
Son 22 years old with-no direction
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707986" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. So sorry you are hurting.</p><p></p><p>If you think he is using substances then that is probably why he changed. If not, he does not feel a kinship with your values. Thats okay. Not everyone has a 9 to 5 job and they still pay their bills. He is working. He may be unconventional. Thats his decision. Dont take it personally and accept him as he is. You cant make him be like you. Now for his depression....</p><p></p><p>It could be caused by drugs. And you cant make him stop. He will stop when/if he wants to stop and no sooner. I am one who does not find pot harmless. Pot made me paranoid and spaced out and, with time, certainly would have worsened my depression, which i struggled with. I just did not do it much. Some can smoke pot with no problem. Some cant. But some become aligned with their pot, like it is their best friend, and they cant/wont live without it. As it becomes legal you can not stop this.</p><p></p><p>If your son wants to get mental health services, only he can do it. If not, you cant do anything.</p><p></p><p>Your son is of age and living on his own. It is hard to hear them struggle. But there is nothing you can force him to do. Now think about yourselves. Maybe time to let his issues go and learn to take care of yourselves and enjoying your lives!! You can control one person....you! Nobody can control another adult, even a beloved child. They do not always fulfill our dreams for them. That is because they are not us and think their own ways.</p><p></p><p>Trust me, it is best he not live with you. He isnt going to change because he lives with you. It will only cause you angst and shoot down his budding independence. Youre lucky he does not depend on you to sustain himself.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you love and luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707986, member: 1550"] Hi. So sorry you are hurting. If you think he is using substances then that is probably why he changed. If not, he does not feel a kinship with your values. Thats okay. Not everyone has a 9 to 5 job and they still pay their bills. He is working. He may be unconventional. Thats his decision. Dont take it personally and accept him as he is. You cant make him be like you. Now for his depression.... It could be caused by drugs. And you cant make him stop. He will stop when/if he wants to stop and no sooner. I am one who does not find pot harmless. Pot made me paranoid and spaced out and, with time, certainly would have worsened my depression, which i struggled with. I just did not do it much. Some can smoke pot with no problem. Some cant. But some become aligned with their pot, like it is their best friend, and they cant/wont live without it. As it becomes legal you can not stop this. If your son wants to get mental health services, only he can do it. If not, you cant do anything. Your son is of age and living on his own. It is hard to hear them struggle. But there is nothing you can force him to do. Now think about yourselves. Maybe time to let his issues go and learn to take care of yourselves and enjoying your lives!! You can control one person....you! Nobody can control another adult, even a beloved child. They do not always fulfill our dreams for them. That is because they are not us and think their own ways. Trust me, it is best he not live with you. He isnt going to change because he lives with you. It will only cause you angst and shoot down his budding independence. Youre lucky he does not depend on you to sustain himself. Wishing you love and luck! [/QUOTE]
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Failure to Thrive
Son 22 years old with-no direction
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