He called yesterday. Asked for change for phone and vending machines. He sounded ok,/ bit defensive when I asked about rehab after detox. He said he is going to be doing outpatient counselling for now.
I dropped off his change to the security guard as I am not allowed to go into the detox or even talk to anyone. It's hard. I felt so ashamed, like he was in prison. I cried a little and the elderly guard felt bad for me I could see.
The last time my husband had been at the detox was as a teenager to drop off his own father.... it was rough. I dropped son off last week as husband was out of town.
We cleaned his room today, got rid of anything that looked suspicious. Lots of baggies and cocaine residue. It's so draining.
I leave tomorrow for a play therapy conference and husband will be home. I am thinking it will be good to learn and feel like I still have another part of my life that I enjoy and feel good about. I love learning and have been looking forward to this conference. I hope I can really let myself let go of my fog for a few days. I told the fellow counsellor I am going with... as she is very perceptive and will pick up on my mood. She is a wonderful friend who knew we had issues with son when I was doing my masters and we were in all our classes together, we talked almost daily. She actually suggested acupuncture for addiction and sent me several professional articles about its effectiveness. It is something I will suggest to son.
Thank you all for being here..... I have no idea what is next, but I know I can face it. I have to.
