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Parent Emeritus
Son has given up on college
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 724466" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It is hard to see your child making these choices. Do you have a plan for what you will do when he shows up at your door hungry with nowhere to go? Or when he calls you and is suicidal because he has nowhere to go and the former teacher has turned him away because he has nothing to offer her? He isn't a thrill any longer because he isn't underage and he doesn't have a home owned by his parents where she can use his mother's toothbrush and makeup. </p><p></p><p>He knows that the threat of suicide will get you every single time. It has to be especially difficult for you to have him threaten this given the family history. You need to make a plan that you can stick to and live with now. That way you won't be all in a flap when he calls and threatens. You will have a plan that will give you at least some direction. </p><p></p><p>Even if you change the plan, it will give you a jumping off point, a place on solid ground to work from rather than starting from nowhere. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry he is doing this, but maybe he needs this time to figure out that being an adult isn't the fun that kids always think it should be. Maybe he needs to live on what he can earn delivering pizza or doing whatever job he can do without a college education for a couple of years before he can see that he needs some kind of training beyond high school in order to earn a living wage. It probably won't be easy for you to watch, but if this is his choice, then you cannot do much about it. I would let him sink or swim on his own as much as you can. </p><p></p><p>I do know how this hurts. (((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 724466, member: 1233"] It is hard to see your child making these choices. Do you have a plan for what you will do when he shows up at your door hungry with nowhere to go? Or when he calls you and is suicidal because he has nowhere to go and the former teacher has turned him away because he has nothing to offer her? He isn't a thrill any longer because he isn't underage and he doesn't have a home owned by his parents where she can use his mother's toothbrush and makeup. He knows that the threat of suicide will get you every single time. It has to be especially difficult for you to have him threaten this given the family history. You need to make a plan that you can stick to and live with now. That way you won't be all in a flap when he calls and threatens. You will have a plan that will give you at least some direction. Even if you change the plan, it will give you a jumping off point, a place on solid ground to work from rather than starting from nowhere. I am so sorry he is doing this, but maybe he needs this time to figure out that being an adult isn't the fun that kids always think it should be. Maybe he needs to live on what he can earn delivering pizza or doing whatever job he can do without a college education for a couple of years before he can see that he needs some kind of training beyond high school in order to earn a living wage. It probably won't be easy for you to watch, but if this is his choice, then you cannot do much about it. I would let him sink or swim on his own as much as you can. I do know how this hurts. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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