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<blockquote data-quote="Bettyboo44" data-source="post: 766283" data-attributes="member: 33737">Maybe our children have made us tough? I feel like relaxing or being vulnerable isn’t an option or they’ll pounce as soon as they get a whiff of that!Yes he’s almost 23, and I have said to him endlessly ‘this living situation’ can’t carry on and he’ll say “yes I really must find my own place” but does nothing. I know he’s just saying what I want to hear, but I have no emotional ties to that home or have any friends or family nearby (besides my sons) so thinking maybe just leave there and start somewhere else, that way we both have to leave. I’ll find my place and he’ll have to find his.Can I ask why your son is listening more and more?Thank’s to this amazing forum I’m beginning to understand that my children’s lives are theirs, and theirs alone, as is mine, as is anybody’s and I’m not responsible for the choices&nbsp; THEY make.Why do you have difficulty accepting your son’s mental illness?&nbsp;I believe my sons to both be master manipulators. I’m unsure If this is because they gain from it, or is it a personality trait. You say your partner thinks your son is manipulative. If so, I’m not sure having a&nbsp; mental illness is an excuse for your son to be that way.I agree that mental illness or not, that it’s up to him to try manage life in the most fulfilling way possible and he initiated receiving financial help for it for 10 years, therefore accepting he’s got mental health issues.However, if he’s only highlighting it for financial gain and possibly an excuse for his actions, then it’s not actually addressing the issue.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Bettyboo44, post: 766283, member: 33737"] Maybe our children have made us tough? I feel like relaxing or being vulnerable isn’t an option or they’ll pounce as soon as they get a whiff of that! Yes he’s almost 23, and I have said to him endlessly ‘this living situation’ can’t carry on and he’ll say “yes I really must find my own place” but does nothing. I know he’s just saying what I want to hear, but I have no emotional ties to that home or have any friends or family nearby (besides my sons) so thinking maybe just leave there and start somewhere else, that way we both have to leave. I’ll find my place and he’ll have to find his. Can I ask why your son is listening more and more? Thank’s to this amazing forum I’m beginning to understand that my children’s lives are theirs, and theirs alone, as is mine, as is anybody’s and I’m not responsible for the choices THEY make. Why do you have difficulty accepting your son’s mental illness? I believe my sons to both be master manipulators. I’m unsure If this is because they gain from it, or is it a personality trait. You say your partner thinks your son is manipulative. If so, I’m not sure having a mental illness is an excuse for your son to be that way. I agree that mental illness or not, that it’s up to him to try manage life in the most fulfilling way possible and he initiated receiving financial help for it for 10 years, therefore accepting he’s got mental health issues. However, if he’s only highlighting it for financial gain and possibly an excuse for his actions, then it’s not actually addressing the issue. [/QUOTE]

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