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Parent Emeritus
son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 684224" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Rebelson you are getting good thinking here. I know...they say something like this, we react strongly (good for you that you got off the phone and didn't react to HIM---that is huge so pat yourself on the back!) and then..we are reeling from it...and from our own minds which go crazy with this stuff. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>so looking at your signature, he is 23 years old. Great news that he is in PH and I hope and pray he stays and does the hard work of change.</p><p></p><p>As you get some time under your belt, just work to take it one day at a time. A bunch of stuff can happen between right now and 6 months from now.</p><p></p><p>A 23-year-old doesn't need to come back home to live with Mom and Dad, under any circumstances. My husband and I have talked about our four kids (two are his and two are mine) and the fact that they could "stay with us" temporarily (maybe) if we both agreed and they were solid, but there would be a definite time limit and a plan for what happens at that time----ahead of time. We don't need, and they don't need, to be living together anymore...ever. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>yes, and especially someone who is newly sober and trying to rebuild his life and clean up his messes. He needs to be on his own.</p><p></p><p>Because believe me, Difficult Child has been on an upward path and consistently doing better for nearly two years---will be two years at the end of June 2016---but he still has behaviors that don't correlate with what I want under my roof, like being messy, sleeping a lot on the weekends, etc. etc. I just don't want all of that in my face; I get stressed and anxious about him when I know too much. </p><p></p><p>I don't think you have to decide anything right now about any of it, but if you want to, you can decide that his days of living with you are basically over. He is a grown man and can live in whatever state he chooses to live in, but it's in his own place. </p><p></p><p>I think it's great that he has a reason to stay in Florida (college) and as he becomes sober, that may become very important to him. Just wait and see. If he is truly on a pathway of change, he will do a lot of changing in the next days, weeks, months. Let it unfold and do your best to just be loving and supportive.</p><p></p><p>That's all you have to do. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 684224, member: 17542"] Rebelson you are getting good thinking here. I know...they say something like this, we react strongly (good for you that you got off the phone and didn't react to HIM---that is huge so pat yourself on the back!) and then..we are reeling from it...and from our own minds which go crazy with this stuff. so looking at your signature, he is 23 years old. Great news that he is in PH and I hope and pray he stays and does the hard work of change. As you get some time under your belt, just work to take it one day at a time. A bunch of stuff can happen between right now and 6 months from now. A 23-year-old doesn't need to come back home to live with Mom and Dad, under any circumstances. My husband and I have talked about our four kids (two are his and two are mine) and the fact that they could "stay with us" temporarily (maybe) if we both agreed and they were solid, but there would be a definite time limit and a plan for what happens at that time----ahead of time. We don't need, and they don't need, to be living together anymore...ever. yes, and especially someone who is newly sober and trying to rebuild his life and clean up his messes. He needs to be on his own. Because believe me, Difficult Child has been on an upward path and consistently doing better for nearly two years---will be two years at the end of June 2016---but he still has behaviors that don't correlate with what I want under my roof, like being messy, sleeping a lot on the weekends, etc. etc. I just don't want all of that in my face; I get stressed and anxious about him when I know too much. I don't think you have to decide anything right now about any of it, but if you want to, you can decide that his days of living with you are basically over. He is a grown man and can live in whatever state he chooses to live in, but it's in his own place. I think it's great that he has a reason to stay in Florida (college) and as he becomes sober, that may become very important to him. Just wait and see. If he is truly on a pathway of change, he will do a lot of changing in the next days, weeks, months. Let it unfold and do your best to just be loving and supportive. That's all you have to do. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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