Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 684240" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>We can either cut them loose or not. If we do not, and do not demand conditions, we are taking responsibility for subsidizing their autonomy, whether or not we condone their choices.</p><p></p><p>I think learning personal responsibility <em>may</em> come from consequences. But not always. </p><p></p><p>I think if the consequences are aversive, and they have to take them, nobody can really say much. There are all kinds of adults who do not take responsibility, make poor choices, get aversive consequences, for which they must take responsibility. Society and life force this. These people have autonomy. They are not learning. What can anybody say?</p><p></p><p>Autonomy is every adult's right, to the point that it is allowed in any given society.</p><p></p><p>Parents decide ultimately how far they go taking responsibility for their adult children. As far as my thinking goes, if I take responsibility for my son even partially, I will ask for some control. If he will not give me some influence, I will withdrew the help I am giving him. If he does not want to submit somewhat to my wishes, he can leave. It is a negotiation.</p><p></p><p>But I will never again allow him control over my space or me, or do whatever he wants, while he is in my space or accepting my help.</p><p></p><p>This negotiation is very stressful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 684240, member: 18958"] We can either cut them loose or not. If we do not, and do not demand conditions, we are taking responsibility for subsidizing their autonomy, whether or not we condone their choices. I think learning personal responsibility [I]may[/I] come from consequences. But not always. I think if the consequences are aversive, and they have to take them, nobody can really say much. There are all kinds of adults who do not take responsibility, make poor choices, get aversive consequences, for which they must take responsibility. Society and life force this. These people have autonomy. They are not learning. What can anybody say? Autonomy is every adult's right, to the point that it is allowed in any given society. Parents decide ultimately how far they go taking responsibility for their adult children. As far as my thinking goes, if I take responsibility for my son even partially, I will ask for some control. If he will not give me some influence, I will withdrew the help I am giving him. If he does not want to submit somewhat to my wishes, he can leave. It is a negotiation. But I will never again allow him control over my space or me, or do whatever he wants, while he is in my space or accepting my help. This negotiation is very stressful. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
Top