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Son is living in car
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 763619" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hello RR and welcome,</p><p>So sorry for your need to be here, but glad you found this site.</p><p></p><p>There are so many parents who have dealt with this issue, including myself with two adult daughters addicted to meth. We did not realize at the time they were living with us, how bad it was. They denied heavy drug use. The “stealing” goes way beyond material resources. Living with drug addicted, manipulative adult children ruins relationships, destroys our security at home, puts us in constant apprehension for the next dramatic stressful event, and more. Our home should be our sanctuary, not somewhere we are waiting for the rug to be pulled from under us.</p><p></p><p>I had issues with my two from middle school on as well. Back then I did not think they would be where they are at now. My eldest lives under a bridge, her sister is in jail. I never thought that would make me more at ease, but it does. At least I know where she is, and that she is more likely to get help.</p><p></p><p>This is a tough one. We are fortunate to be in Hawaii, so weather is rarely an issue, except for rain. Only you know what boundaries you need to set. I don’t want my two around my house while they are using. It is too much to bear. Their drug of choice makes it unsafe. </p><p></p><p>Life sure can be tough on this road we are on. We all love our wayward adult children, unfortunately as long as they are using drugs, they tend to use <em>us</em> as well. That hurts. </p><p></p><p>I am glad you have found us and are able to share your story. It is a tremendous burden to bear on your own. I have been here from 2015 and have received so much kindness from folks here. Writing helps to relieve the sorrow, it is also a reminder to me to stay the course and focus on what I can control, my own choices and my reaction to my two wayward daughters choices. We are not God awful parents, we have children that we loved as best as we could, but they grew up and made bad choices, that’s on them, not us. What others think is their problem, not ours. I get what you are saying, I used to sit at lunch and coworkers would talk about their kids going off to college, etc. There was no way my stories fit the conversation. However, I have found that most people I know have to some degree been touched by addiction in the family. I understand how you feel, I coached kids in paddling for many years and often felt that I was somewhat compromised by having two kids grow up and make these horrendous choices. You know the old saying “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” My tree must be on a hill, because those two have rolled far beyond what we tried to teach them.</p><p>You wrote that your son has warrants, my daughter has been there done that and had a few stints in jail, then rehab. I have gotten to the point where I hope she is picked up and gets the help she needs. Lord knows my late hubs and I tried for many years to help her, to no avail and to our own detriment. It has been a long hard and rocky road, for sure. I gave my two back to God, it is too much for me to handle. I love them with all my heart, and wish I could make a difference too, but after years of trying, I pray frequently that He can touch their hearts and lead them to their true light and potential. </p><p>Much love and hugs to you.</p><p>More will come along and respond.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 763619, member: 19522"] Hello RR and welcome, So sorry for your need to be here, but glad you found this site. There are so many parents who have dealt with this issue, including myself with two adult daughters addicted to meth. We did not realize at the time they were living with us, how bad it was. They denied heavy drug use. The “stealing” goes way beyond material resources. Living with drug addicted, manipulative adult children ruins relationships, destroys our security at home, puts us in constant apprehension for the next dramatic stressful event, and more. Our home should be our sanctuary, not somewhere we are waiting for the rug to be pulled from under us. I had issues with my two from middle school on as well. Back then I did not think they would be where they are at now. My eldest lives under a bridge, her sister is in jail. I never thought that would make me more at ease, but it does. At least I know where she is, and that she is more likely to get help. This is a tough one. We are fortunate to be in Hawaii, so weather is rarely an issue, except for rain. Only you know what boundaries you need to set. I don’t want my two around my house while they are using. It is too much to bear. Their drug of choice makes it unsafe. Life sure can be tough on this road we are on. We all love our wayward adult children, unfortunately as long as they are using drugs, they tend to use [I]us[/I] as well. That hurts. I am glad you have found us and are able to share your story. It is a tremendous burden to bear on your own. I have been here from 2015 and have received so much kindness from folks here. Writing helps to relieve the sorrow, it is also a reminder to me to stay the course and focus on what I can control, my own choices and my reaction to my two wayward daughters choices. We are not God awful parents, we have children that we loved as best as we could, but they grew up and made bad choices, that’s on them, not us. What others think is their problem, not ours. I get what you are saying, I used to sit at lunch and coworkers would talk about their kids going off to college, etc. There was no way my stories fit the conversation. However, I have found that most people I know have to some degree been touched by addiction in the family. I understand how you feel, I coached kids in paddling for many years and often felt that I was somewhat compromised by having two kids grow up and make these horrendous choices. You know the old saying “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” My tree must be on a hill, because those two have rolled far beyond what we tried to teach them. You wrote that your son has warrants, my daughter has been there done that and had a few stints in jail, then rehab. I have gotten to the point where I hope she is picked up and gets the help she needs. Lord knows my late hubs and I tried for many years to help her, to no avail and to our own detriment. It has been a long hard and rocky road, for sure. I gave my two back to God, it is too much for me to handle. I love them with all my heart, and wish I could make a difference too, but after years of trying, I pray frequently that He can touch their hearts and lead them to their true light and potential. Much love and hugs to you. More will come along and respond. (((Hugs))) New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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