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Parent Emeritus
Son is now homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748988" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am like this, too. But I have stuck to my guns, when I have to. Enough is enough.</p><p></p><p>Poppy, there is an article on detachment. You can find it below recovering enabler's signature on her post above. It is on the website. Almost all of us have had trouble with boundaries. There is no better way to deal with this, than what RE describes. Be clear about the behavior that you will not tolerate. Spell it out, very briefly. Hang up immediately if he does it. Do not call him. Or accept calls, whatever feels right.</p><p></p><p>Something I find important is feeling the anger. If you stop being his/her victim, the anger will come. Good. Feel righteous anger. Enough is enough.</p><p></p><p>I find that in person it is much, much harder because there is the threat of physical boundary crossing which I find very triggering. If my son is not observing boundaries, (or I am not enforcing them adequately) I do not go around him or permit him around me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748988, member: 18958"] I am like this, too. But I have stuck to my guns, when I have to. Enough is enough. Poppy, there is an article on detachment. You can find it below recovering enabler's signature on her post above. It is on the website. Almost all of us have had trouble with boundaries. There is no better way to deal with this, than what RE describes. Be clear about the behavior that you will not tolerate. Spell it out, very briefly. Hang up immediately if he does it. Do not call him. Or accept calls, whatever feels right. Something I find important is feeling the anger. If you stop being his/her victim, the anger will come. Good. Feel righteous anger. Enough is enough. I find that in person it is much, much harder because there is the threat of physical boundary crossing which I find very triggering. If my son is not observing boundaries, (or I am not enforcing them adequately) I do not go around him or permit him around me. [/QUOTE]
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