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Son is now homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 749003" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Thank you for your input. I have actually copied and pasted the article on Detachment and re-read it often. You know there is one thing (among many) that I've learned from going to Al anon for several years and that is that it is easier to set boundaries when we are "healthier". I was able to set boundaries with my ex-husband the healthier minded I got and I'm hoping that I'll be able to do this with my sons. I have seen "some" improvements in myself insofar as that's concerned but I have such a long way to go. Truly, the key piece is taking care of ourselves. This often times because my sole focus was on the alcoholic and all the crisis it brought to our home, was my main focus and often it seems selfish to now take care of me. My mind has been so convalluted from all my "wrong" thought process that I have to retrain myself to the knowledge that self-care is so important and it will lead to the betterment of all my other issues. I'm really trying to do the same with my sons now. Get myself "better" so I can make sound, wise decisions and set healthy boundaries I can keep. I'm a work in progress for sure.</p><p></p><p>I recently read something in I think it was a book called "unteathered soul" and the author said the way to begin detaching is to take our attention off the "subject" we are obsessing about. Once we can pull away from making them or it our main focus we can think more clearly and make sounder wiser decisions for our own well being. So, I'll keep trying....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 749003, member: 23405"] Thank you for your input. I have actually copied and pasted the article on Detachment and re-read it often. You know there is one thing (among many) that I've learned from going to Al anon for several years and that is that it is easier to set boundaries when we are "healthier". I was able to set boundaries with my ex-husband the healthier minded I got and I'm hoping that I'll be able to do this with my sons. I have seen "some" improvements in myself insofar as that's concerned but I have such a long way to go. Truly, the key piece is taking care of ourselves. This often times because my sole focus was on the alcoholic and all the crisis it brought to our home, was my main focus and often it seems selfish to now take care of me. My mind has been so convalluted from all my "wrong" thought process that I have to retrain myself to the knowledge that self-care is so important and it will lead to the betterment of all my other issues. I'm really trying to do the same with my sons now. Get myself "better" so I can make sound, wise decisions and set healthy boundaries I can keep. I'm a work in progress for sure. I recently read something in I think it was a book called "unteathered soul" and the author said the way to begin detaching is to take our attention off the "subject" we are obsessing about. Once we can pull away from making them or it our main focus we can think more clearly and make sounder wiser decisions for our own well being. So, I'll keep trying.... [/QUOTE]
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