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Substance Abuse
Son is out.
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 716889" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Your son thinks he is still in control. When he gets desperate enough, rehab will not look so bad. Stay strong. He needs to realize his only option is rehab and sober living aftercare.</p><p></p><p>Do not give in. You will be setting yourself up for years of a being on the rollercoaster from hell. I have been on it and and am so glad I finally got off.</p><p></p><p>The good news is that the horrible way he is acting is the drugs talking. My daughter was the exact same way for the entire time she was in active addiction. Now that she has been sober for 17 months, she is a completely different person. Or maybe I should say that she is now really the person that was in there all of the time but being masked by drug use.</p><p></p><p>Turn off your phone. Block his texts and calls. Tell him that you will only talk with him when he is in a residential treatment center. Outpatient doesn't work for a person actively using drugs/alcohol. Don't let him emotionally blackmail you. He can only treat you badly if you allow it.</p><p></p><p>As far as the phone question, that has been a topic of disagreement on the SA forum for years. Personally, I stopped paying for a phone for my daughter when she was a teenager and she has never been without one even during the long years of active addiction. If they can get money for drugs, they can pay for a cheap phone. Any money that you save them from having to pay for a phone is used for drugs. So, in my opinion, you are indirectly buying his drugs for him.</p><p></p><p>However, many on the board feel like the phone is a way that they can keep in contact with their loved one and know that they child is alive. I get that. So basically it comes down to what you feel comfortable with. There is no right or wrong on this one.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 716889, member: 1967"] Your son thinks he is still in control. When he gets desperate enough, rehab will not look so bad. Stay strong. He needs to realize his only option is rehab and sober living aftercare. Do not give in. You will be setting yourself up for years of a being on the rollercoaster from hell. I have been on it and and am so glad I finally got off. The good news is that the horrible way he is acting is the drugs talking. My daughter was the exact same way for the entire time she was in active addiction. Now that she has been sober for 17 months, she is a completely different person. Or maybe I should say that she is now really the person that was in there all of the time but being masked by drug use. Turn off your phone. Block his texts and calls. Tell him that you will only talk with him when he is in a residential treatment center. Outpatient doesn't work for a person actively using drugs/alcohol. Don't let him emotionally blackmail you. He can only treat you badly if you allow it. As far as the phone question, that has been a topic of disagreement on the SA forum for years. Personally, I stopped paying for a phone for my daughter when she was a teenager and she has never been without one even during the long years of active addiction. If they can get money for drugs, they can pay for a cheap phone. Any money that you save them from having to pay for a phone is used for drugs. So, in my opinion, you are indirectly buying his drugs for him. However, many on the board feel like the phone is a way that they can keep in contact with their loved one and know that they child is alive. I get that. So basically it comes down to what you feel comfortable with. There is no right or wrong on this one. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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