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Parent Emeritus
son laying guilt - he's great at it!
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 679429" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>You let him trap you into a circular conversation - the one that never ends and no matter what you say, even if you are right and he knows it, he will turn it around with "something else" you did wrong. This could have easily been a text/convo between me and my daughter. I have done it hundreds of times, thinking *surely* some sense would get through. No.</p><p></p><p>And like your situation, she only calls when she needs something. The difference is she would never admit it and would get defensive and hateful if I suggested it. At least he has the cajones to not BS it.</p><p></p><p>They enjoy engaging us, creating stress, keeping an argument going. Sometimes I think it gives my daughter a sense of superiority that she can always "one up" me no matter what I say, even if her responses make no sense or contradict something she previously said. </p><p></p><p>These conversations are pointless and go nowhere. I refuse to do them any more and have since I know exactly what conditions my daughter suffers from and what methods she uses to keep drama going. I literally say, "This has escalated and this conversation is over." And that is it. I hang up or I turn off the phone to end the texting. These types of conversations are no longer allowed. I no longer give that attention because it reinforces that behavior. </p><p></p><p>I also don't "check in" with her. I don't talk to people she engages with, I don't check up, I have quit "taking care of things" for her. And since her latest campaign of completing slandering me, I won't speak to her at all. I am done being the doormat.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 679429, member: 19905"] You let him trap you into a circular conversation - the one that never ends and no matter what you say, even if you are right and he knows it, he will turn it around with "something else" you did wrong. This could have easily been a text/convo between me and my daughter. I have done it hundreds of times, thinking *surely* some sense would get through. No. And like your situation, she only calls when she needs something. The difference is she would never admit it and would get defensive and hateful if I suggested it. At least he has the cajones to not BS it. They enjoy engaging us, creating stress, keeping an argument going. Sometimes I think it gives my daughter a sense of superiority that she can always "one up" me no matter what I say, even if her responses make no sense or contradict something she previously said. These conversations are pointless and go nowhere. I refuse to do them any more and have since I know exactly what conditions my daughter suffers from and what methods she uses to keep drama going. I literally say, "This has escalated and this conversation is over." And that is it. I hang up or I turn off the phone to end the texting. These types of conversations are no longer allowed. I no longer give that attention because it reinforces that behavior. I also don't "check in" with her. I don't talk to people she engages with, I don't check up, I have quit "taking care of things" for her. And since her latest campaign of completing slandering me, I won't speak to her at all. I am done being the doormat. [/QUOTE]
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son laying guilt - he's great at it!
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