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Son spiraling and I'm lost
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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 738370" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>Hi Michelle809. Sorry you have had to find this forum. It sure does help to know that others share your story.</p><p></p><p>It does sound like you son is not ready to seek help. He talks of joining the military but that is still many months away. When the time comes, he may abandon that choice, too. Our children need to understand that there are consequences to their actions and that we can't undo them (nor should we). </p><p></p><p></p><p>Those are our fears also. But we have learned that we can't continue to live with those fears because they will use that to manipulate us forever. Daughter's psychiatrist once said that her risk of suicide was far higher than the general population but that if she did it, it would not be because she wanted to kill herself - she would just have taken her self-harm a little too far. Jail is a real possibility and a natural consequence for law-breaking behaviour.</p><p></p><p></p><p>There is still a stigma with mental health issues. As much as the agencies, media, etc. are trying to remove that stigma, it is always awkward and difficult to speak about our difficult children with others. Sometimes, it will seem as though the difficult child doesn't exist. And it's also hard when people ask you about your difficult child and you don't know what to say - discreet 'white lies' or the truth? Our very close friends know our situation and are supportive. </p><p></p><p></p><p>RN is correct - there is nothing your son has shown you that would signal he is ready to return to a normal home environment. Once he is back at home, it will be difficult for you to remove him (I understand that there are very different eviction laws in the US than there are in Canada). Even after her son has completed a 13 month program, RN is terrified of a return to prior home life behaviour. </p><p></p><p>Try setting some boundaries. They are difficult to do at first but they are necessary. Also, try to do some self-care - do something for YOU. </p><p></p><p>Sending hugs your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 738370, member: 355"] Hi Michelle809. Sorry you have had to find this forum. It sure does help to know that others share your story. It does sound like you son is not ready to seek help. He talks of joining the military but that is still many months away. When the time comes, he may abandon that choice, too. Our children need to understand that there are consequences to their actions and that we can't undo them (nor should we). Those are our fears also. But we have learned that we can't continue to live with those fears because they will use that to manipulate us forever. Daughter's psychiatrist once said that her risk of suicide was far higher than the general population but that if she did it, it would not be because she wanted to kill herself - she would just have taken her self-harm a little too far. Jail is a real possibility and a natural consequence for law-breaking behaviour. There is still a stigma with mental health issues. As much as the agencies, media, etc. are trying to remove that stigma, it is always awkward and difficult to speak about our difficult children with others. Sometimes, it will seem as though the difficult child doesn't exist. And it's also hard when people ask you about your difficult child and you don't know what to say - discreet 'white lies' or the truth? Our very close friends know our situation and are supportive. RN is correct - there is nothing your son has shown you that would signal he is ready to return to a normal home environment. Once he is back at home, it will be difficult for you to remove him (I understand that there are very different eviction laws in the US than there are in Canada). Even after her son has completed a 13 month program, RN is terrified of a return to prior home life behaviour. Try setting some boundaries. They are difficult to do at first but they are necessary. Also, try to do some self-care - do something for YOU. Sending hugs your way. [/QUOTE]
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