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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 703839" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Hi Pasa,</p><p></p><p>its interesting how he wants a short cut out of his predicament...I mean...it is his own actions that have lead him to a place where he isn't in control of his time and location...it is he who has to behave in such a way for such a time that he ultimately regains that right, either where he is or because he is able to live independently...but calling mom to have them bend the rules that are put in place because he has demonstrated that he cannot manage himself?</p><p>Ha.</p><p>I laugh, darkly.</p><p>You did really well to recognize this interaction as a part of a pattern..I think that is hard for us, we take each exchange as valid and independent...but if we step back and say...oh, I see (as you did) he is only nice to me if he needs something, and the second he doesn't get it he is nasty..or oh, I see, he STILL isn't willing to do the work of earning privileges, he STILL is looking for shortcuts....it helps us respond in ways that we can feel ok about.</p><p></p><p>Hold tight and strong, Pasa. He is still growing up. My son literally tried to jump out of our (slow) moving car at a traffic light once when his girlfriend texted him...this on the way home from a parent-school meeting in which they basically were throwing him out of his "special behavioral needs" school. Emotions and hormones are super hard at that age, and on top of some neuroatypia and bad patterns? Fuggedaboutit. Hold on for the ride.</p><p></p><p>Hugs tonight,</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 703839, member: 17269"] Hi Pasa, its interesting how he wants a short cut out of his predicament...I mean...it is his own actions that have lead him to a place where he isn't in control of his time and location...it is he who has to behave in such a way for such a time that he ultimately regains that right, either where he is or because he is able to live independently...but calling mom to have them bend the rules that are put in place because he has demonstrated that he cannot manage himself? Ha. I laugh, darkly. You did really well to recognize this interaction as a part of a pattern..I think that is hard for us, we take each exchange as valid and independent...but if we step back and say...oh, I see (as you did) he is only nice to me if he needs something, and the second he doesn't get it he is nasty..or oh, I see, he STILL isn't willing to do the work of earning privileges, he STILL is looking for shortcuts....it helps us respond in ways that we can feel ok about. Hold tight and strong, Pasa. He is still growing up. My son literally tried to jump out of our (slow) moving car at a traffic light once when his girlfriend texted him...this on the way home from a parent-school meeting in which they basically were throwing him out of his "special behavioral needs" school. Emotions and hormones are super hard at that age, and on top of some neuroatypia and bad patterns? Fuggedaboutit. Hold on for the ride. Hugs tonight, Echo [/QUOTE]
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