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Son went to jail yesterday
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 635203" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>What about the legal aid society in your town? I can't believe they can detain him indefinitely without representation. That is unbelievable. I can't believe that is legal in terms of due process. I don't care what he has done before. That is nuts.</p><p></p><p>Attorneys always say that people need representation. </p><p></p><p>Staying clean and being clean after you've abused substances is a day by day thing. If he's clean today, that's great for today. Who knows about tomorrow? If he's an addict, it will be really hard to stay clean without 12-step. Not impossible but really hard. The stats I have heard are that a very low percentage---5%---of people who are in recovery have not gotten there via 12 step. I'm sure there are exceptions everywhere.</p><p></p><p>I hope and pray he is trying to change. For your sake and those kids' sake, above all else. I hate to be cynical, and I am not a cynical person, but difficult child has taught me well that I know the tip of the iceberg. If he's smoked pot once that I know of, that means he's smoked it 100 times that I don't know of. </p><p></p><p>You get the picture. I am glad that you are standing firm right now. Stay the course. Let your son and his wife figure it out. It's their responsibility, not yours. He will never grow up unless you let him navigate this.</p><p></p><p>This week my son texted me and said he hadn't slept in two days and wanted to come here for a nap after work. I said, No, sorry. </p><p></p><p>That's all I have heard from him in a week. I remind myself daily that any progress he makes will not come via me. I believe that completely. He will have to find his own way without his Mother. That is what a man does, if he is ever to be a man.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. I am praying for you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 635203, member: 17542"] What about the legal aid society in your town? I can't believe they can detain him indefinitely without representation. That is unbelievable. I can't believe that is legal in terms of due process. I don't care what he has done before. That is nuts. Attorneys always say that people need representation. Staying clean and being clean after you've abused substances is a day by day thing. If he's clean today, that's great for today. Who knows about tomorrow? If he's an addict, it will be really hard to stay clean without 12-step. Not impossible but really hard. The stats I have heard are that a very low percentage---5%---of people who are in recovery have not gotten there via 12 step. I'm sure there are exceptions everywhere. I hope and pray he is trying to change. For your sake and those kids' sake, above all else. I hate to be cynical, and I am not a cynical person, but difficult child has taught me well that I know the tip of the iceberg. If he's smoked pot once that I know of, that means he's smoked it 100 times that I don't know of. You get the picture. I am glad that you are standing firm right now. Stay the course. Let your son and his wife figure it out. It's their responsibility, not yours. He will never grow up unless you let him navigate this. This week my son texted me and said he hadn't slept in two days and wanted to come here for a nap after work. I said, No, sorry. That's all I have heard from him in a week. I remind myself daily that any progress he makes will not come via me. I believe that completely. He will have to find his own way without his Mother. That is what a man does, if he is ever to be a man. Warm hugs. I am praying for you all. [/QUOTE]
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