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<blockquote data-quote="ANewLife4Me" data-source="post: 765488" data-attributes="member: 32799"><p>NewLeaf, you have such a wonderful way of putting your feelings into words oh how I felt what you were saying! <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤗" title="Hugging face :hugging:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f917.png" data-shortname=":hugging:" /> Self preservation mode, we know how our children are affecting us trying to make them see the sense of it all but, nothing we try ever works for them. </p><p></p><p>“Her past is water under the bridge, but her refusing sobriety is like rain soaked ground with storm warnings and impending flash floods. “Turn around don’t drown.” That is the ticker tape warning going through my head right now. Do I think my going no contact will motivate her to seek sobriety? No. I don’t think at this point that anything I do or say will be a change agent for her. I need to go into self preservation mode. I have to see the situation through my lens, not hers. Her lens at this point is clouded by her addiction. Do I feel for her? Yes. I do. But, she will have to navigate her ship through the storm, for the time being. </p><p>I will spend some sleepless nights trying to process this all over again.”</p><p></p><p>Will pray and hope that you can get past your sleepless nights and not focus on her solely. We know exactly the timing of when we must care for ourselves more than them. I recently have come to a better relationship with my son, he is calling me more now and have seen him 2 weekends in a row and had a wonderful time being with him. It’s that his understanding came about, he knew what his role was in our relationship and he has made changes to bring it into something wonderful and healthy for us all. I use my son as the example because changes were made and it can be done. Our daughters are not there yet, we pray and hope, we have open loving arms waiting, we are STILL amazing parents and they can be the greatest kids. They have to wanna. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ANewLife4Me, post: 765488, member: 32799"] NewLeaf, you have such a wonderful way of putting your feelings into words oh how I felt what you were saying! 🤗 Self preservation mode, we know how our children are affecting us trying to make them see the sense of it all but, nothing we try ever works for them. “Her past is water under the bridge, but her refusing sobriety is like rain soaked ground with storm warnings and impending flash floods. “Turn around don’t drown.” That is the ticker tape warning going through my head right now. Do I think my going no contact will motivate her to seek sobriety? No. I don’t think at this point that anything I do or say will be a change agent for her. I need to go into self preservation mode. I have to see the situation through my lens, not hers. Her lens at this point is clouded by her addiction. Do I feel for her? Yes. I do. But, she will have to navigate her ship through the storm, for the time being. I will spend some sleepless nights trying to process this all over again.” Will pray and hope that you can get past your sleepless nights and not focus on her solely. We know exactly the timing of when we must care for ourselves more than them. I recently have come to a better relationship with my son, he is calling me more now and have seen him 2 weekends in a row and had a wonderful time being with him. It’s that his understanding came about, he knew what his role was in our relationship and he has made changes to bring it into something wonderful and healthy for us all. I use my son as the example because changes were made and it can be done. Our daughters are not there yet, we pray and hope, we have open loving arms waiting, we are STILL amazing parents and they can be the greatest kids. They have to wanna. ❤️ [/QUOTE]
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