Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Stealing from us again!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 645930" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Our kids have to hit a bottom, and it seems, many bottoms, before they have any motivation to change.</p><p></p><p>After five years of the type of situations you are describing with your son---plus multiple jail stints and homelessness stints---my son appears to be making some changes in his life.</p><p></p><p>I am very (very) cautiously optimistic and I am still giving him a lot of space and physical distance. I still don't trust it at all yet, and it's been six months.</p><p></p><p>He taught me well. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like you are at a point where you are beginning to think of yourself and your own family and putting them first, instead of your son. I had to get there, too, before I was willing to start making some real changes and start working on myself.</p><p></p><p>Read, read, read about codependency, stopping enabling, living in the moment, taking care of yourself. Go to Al-Anon meetings, read 12-step recovery material, contact NAMI, spend time doing small nice things for yourself and your family. Turn the bright light of focus on you, and away from him.</p><p></p><p>He will do whatever he will do. You can't control any of it.</p><p></p><p>Let go. Learn how to let go. It will be the best thing you ever learned in your whole life---for this relationship with your son, and for all of your relationships in your life.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs and compassion. We get it. We care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 645930, member: 17542"] Our kids have to hit a bottom, and it seems, many bottoms, before they have any motivation to change. After five years of the type of situations you are describing with your son---plus multiple jail stints and homelessness stints---my son appears to be making some changes in his life. I am very (very) cautiously optimistic and I am still giving him a lot of space and physical distance. I still don't trust it at all yet, and it's been six months. He taught me well. It sounds like you are at a point where you are beginning to think of yourself and your own family and putting them first, instead of your son. I had to get there, too, before I was willing to start making some real changes and start working on myself. Read, read, read about codependency, stopping enabling, living in the moment, taking care of yourself. Go to Al-Anon meetings, read 12-step recovery material, contact NAMI, spend time doing small nice things for yourself and your family. Turn the bright light of focus on you, and away from him. He will do whatever he will do. You can't control any of it. Let go. Learn how to let go. It will be the best thing you ever learned in your whole life---for this relationship with your son, and for all of your relationships in your life. Warm hugs and compassion. We get it. We care. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Stealing from us again!
Top