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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 648395" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I am so sorry for the ongoing stress that contact with him is putting you through.</p><p></p><p>For a long time I had to nearly completely stop all communications with my son because the situation was exactly the same. I never cut it off completely but it was to a point where I would accept a call from him between 10 and 11 am in a Saturday and I would talk for 10 minutes.</p><p></p><p>Setting that boundary allowed me---it was for me that I did this---to let all other calls and texts go unanswered. </p><p></p><p>I stated the boundary to him and then I lived by it for quite a while. Thinking back this seemed to break the cycle of dozens of texts that were question marks and dots after I said I am through texting with you.</p><p></p><p>And it broke the cycle of call after call esbtibg me to tell him every move to make. </p><p></p><p>I tried saying I don't know to every question and/or I am sure you will figure it out...but I was still engaged and so he still kept it up. </p><p></p><p>He was relentless. </p><p></p><p>That is what it took with my son and I will tell you I was not detached at all during many of those days and weeks and I would comfort myself with knowing he was alive because I could see his name and web beside it on FB. </p><p></p><p>This is tough tough stuff but also having to get calls like you are getting keeps the PTSD-like symptoms ramped up for us.</p><p></p><p>I also put my phone in the kitchen to charge at night. If something happens in the night I don't want to know about it anyway---whatever it is---until morning.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 648395, member: 17542"] I am so sorry for the ongoing stress that contact with him is putting you through. For a long time I had to nearly completely stop all communications with my son because the situation was exactly the same. I never cut it off completely but it was to a point where I would accept a call from him between 10 and 11 am in a Saturday and I would talk for 10 minutes. Setting that boundary allowed me---it was for me that I did this---to let all other calls and texts go unanswered. I stated the boundary to him and then I lived by it for quite a while. Thinking back this seemed to break the cycle of dozens of texts that were question marks and dots after I said I am through texting with you. And it broke the cycle of call after call esbtibg me to tell him every move to make. I tried saying I don't know to every question and/or I am sure you will figure it out...but I was still engaged and so he still kept it up. He was relentless. That is what it took with my son and I will tell you I was not detached at all during many of those days and weeks and I would comfort myself with knowing he was alive because I could see his name and web beside it on FB. This is tough tough stuff but also having to get calls like you are getting keeps the PTSD-like symptoms ramped up for us. I also put my phone in the kitchen to charge at night. If something happens in the night I don't want to know about it anyway---whatever it is---until morning. Warm hugs. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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