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Step Daughter Got Physical
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 704307" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry you are in this situation. It does not sound healthy at ALL for you. This actually sounds like it is not good for anyone, but especially not good for you. I am going to make a recommendation that you may not like.</p><p> </p><p>PLEASE call a domestic violence hotline and go to a center for some help. This sounds VERY MUCH like an abusive situation. Men CAN and ARE the victims of domestic violence/abuse every single day. I know it is embarrassing to admit, and hard to admit, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Someone bigger and stronger is abusing you and acting inappropriately. The daughter is starting to become violent and it WILL get worse from here. I saw my brother become an abuser and NO ONE believed me. I was his primary victim and my own parents, who lived in the same house, didn't believe me. He waited until they were not around to hurt me, and then said either I was clumsy or I did it myself or we were playing or someone else did it. He was almost always believed. </p><p></p><p>There are really excellent DV centers around, ones who truly understand that men are victims too. I live in a smallish city in OK and I know our DV center regularly has men in our groups who are victims of their wives abuse. The wives are not always larger than the husbands, often they are little petite women and the men are much larger. But the men are the victims and never strike back.</p><p></p><p>You can reach out to The National Domestic Violence Hotline at <a href="http://www.thehotline.org/" target="_blank">http://www.thehotline.org/</a> , They also have a toll free number because computer usage cannot be completely cleared or hidden. They would be able to not only give you some help over the phone, but also connect you with help in your area. </p><p></p><p>If nothing else, tell your wife you are unwilling to be left alone with your stepdaughter when your wife is out of town. Stepdau can stay at a friends or wife can figure something out. If your stepdau gets upset with not getting what she wants, one of the next steps int eh difficult child playbook is accusing you of abuse when her mother is out of town. Just an accusation of sexual abuse can completely destroy your life. It happened to someone I know well when the 5 year old's mother coached her to make an accusation. It was obviously and clearly coached, but it destroyed much of his life for over a year. The little girl actually asked the judge, while on the stand in open court, if she was supposed to say what her Daddy really did, or what Mommy said that Daddy did when Mommy wasn't there? Then the girl asked how Mommy would have any idea what Daddy did when Mommy wasn't there, and was that why Mommy wanted her to say things happened that didn't? It still took six MONTHS after that for the father to be allowed to be in a room with his daughter without a chaperone!</p><p></p><p>An accusation by an older child is even harder to deal with. Keep a paper trail, refuse to be alone with her overnight, and PLEASE at least contact the place I mentioned or a similar place. It is NOT normal for a stepdau to make you this uncomfortable and threatened, or for your wife to think it is amusing. Is just is NOT. </p><p></p><p>Therapy for all of you is a good thing, IF you can get everyone to participate honestly. I hope you can and that it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 704307, member: 1233"] I am so sorry you are in this situation. It does not sound healthy at ALL for you. This actually sounds like it is not good for anyone, but especially not good for you. I am going to make a recommendation that you may not like. PLEASE call a domestic violence hotline and go to a center for some help. This sounds VERY MUCH like an abusive situation. Men CAN and ARE the victims of domestic violence/abuse every single day. I know it is embarrassing to admit, and hard to admit, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Someone bigger and stronger is abusing you and acting inappropriately. The daughter is starting to become violent and it WILL get worse from here. I saw my brother become an abuser and NO ONE believed me. I was his primary victim and my own parents, who lived in the same house, didn't believe me. He waited until they were not around to hurt me, and then said either I was clumsy or I did it myself or we were playing or someone else did it. He was almost always believed. There are really excellent DV centers around, ones who truly understand that men are victims too. I live in a smallish city in OK and I know our DV center regularly has men in our groups who are victims of their wives abuse. The wives are not always larger than the husbands, often they are little petite women and the men are much larger. But the men are the victims and never strike back. You can reach out to The National Domestic Violence Hotline at [URL]http://www.thehotline.org/[/URL] , They also have a toll free number because computer usage cannot be completely cleared or hidden. They would be able to not only give you some help over the phone, but also connect you with help in your area. If nothing else, tell your wife you are unwilling to be left alone with your stepdaughter when your wife is out of town. Stepdau can stay at a friends or wife can figure something out. If your stepdau gets upset with not getting what she wants, one of the next steps int eh difficult child playbook is accusing you of abuse when her mother is out of town. Just an accusation of sexual abuse can completely destroy your life. It happened to someone I know well when the 5 year old's mother coached her to make an accusation. It was obviously and clearly coached, but it destroyed much of his life for over a year. The little girl actually asked the judge, while on the stand in open court, if she was supposed to say what her Daddy really did, or what Mommy said that Daddy did when Mommy wasn't there? Then the girl asked how Mommy would have any idea what Daddy did when Mommy wasn't there, and was that why Mommy wanted her to say things happened that didn't? It still took six MONTHS after that for the father to be allowed to be in a room with his daughter without a chaperone! An accusation by an older child is even harder to deal with. Keep a paper trail, refuse to be alone with her overnight, and PLEASE at least contact the place I mentioned or a similar place. It is NOT normal for a stepdau to make you this uncomfortable and threatened, or for your wife to think it is amusing. Is just is NOT. Therapy for all of you is a good thing, IF you can get everyone to participate honestly. I hope you can and that it helps. [/QUOTE]
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