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Substance Abuse
sticking to boundries
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 220208" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I'm with katya. You can guide her to healthy choices but you can't force her to do them. You can make her life miserable enough that she may want to go. That is, no TV, no computer, no music at home unless she goes to AA, exercise class, etc. Make it time for time. That is AA lasts 90 minutes, she gets 90 minutes of something at home, etc. You could even be nice and include the transportation time.</p><p> </p><p>I'd say no to any and all club scenes. She's 15. There are other things she can do. Right now, the focus should be on recovery and that means no going to events where there are drugs and alcohol and this club obviously has alcohol whether or not she is getting it or not. Even the big venue events have drugs and alcohol. It is pretty common to see joints being passed around from stranger to stranger. I've seen lines of cocaine being done while the band played. Beer and wine are usually sold at the concession stands and people do know how to sneak in other stuff. So, I wouldn't even let her go to one of these events without one of her parents being right next to her.</p><p> </p><p>I know it's not what she wants (who would), but there are CDs, MTV, school dances. The club scene is definitely not what she needs right now, even once a month. At least not for a few more years.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe you can find some pictures of kids on the street to show your husband. This is where your daughter is headed if she gets back on drugs. By letting her go to the club and letting her manipulate him, that is what he is helping to happen. </p><p> </p><p>I'm glad she's been clean for 3 weeks. This has to be hard on her. Quitting any addiction is tough but I think it's even tougher when you're young and think you're invincible. Right now, I doubt she is quitting for herself but rather because she feels she is forced to quit.</p><p> </p><p>If you do allow her to continue going to the club, I'd work it into a reward -- no drugs or drinking for X time (I'd make it 3 months at least for now), a night of clubbing with curfew being when the club closes and a trusted adult present. It really is way too soon to let her go out and play like this. There are just too many temptations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 220208, member: 3626"] I'm with katya. You can guide her to healthy choices but you can't force her to do them. You can make her life miserable enough that she may want to go. That is, no TV, no computer, no music at home unless she goes to AA, exercise class, etc. Make it time for time. That is AA lasts 90 minutes, she gets 90 minutes of something at home, etc. You could even be nice and include the transportation time. I'd say no to any and all club scenes. She's 15. There are other things she can do. Right now, the focus should be on recovery and that means no going to events where there are drugs and alcohol and this club obviously has alcohol whether or not she is getting it or not. Even the big venue events have drugs and alcohol. It is pretty common to see joints being passed around from stranger to stranger. I've seen lines of cocaine being done while the band played. Beer and wine are usually sold at the concession stands and people do know how to sneak in other stuff. So, I wouldn't even let her go to one of these events without one of her parents being right next to her. I know it's not what she wants (who would), but there are CDs, MTV, school dances. The club scene is definitely not what she needs right now, even once a month. At least not for a few more years. Maybe you can find some pictures of kids on the street to show your husband. This is where your daughter is headed if she gets back on drugs. By letting her go to the club and letting her manipulate him, that is what he is helping to happen. I'm glad she's been clean for 3 weeks. This has to be hard on her. Quitting any addiction is tough but I think it's even tougher when you're young and think you're invincible. Right now, I doubt she is quitting for herself but rather because she feels she is forced to quit. If you do allow her to continue going to the club, I'd work it into a reward -- no drugs or drinking for X time (I'd make it 3 months at least for now), a night of clubbing with curfew being when the club closes and a trusted adult present. It really is way too soon to let her go out and play like this. There are just too many temptations. [/QUOTE]
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