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Still Scared....
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<blockquote data-quote="fallen angel" data-source="post: 19717" data-attributes="member: 2034"><p>It is so nice to be back and thank you to all who responded to my posting...it does help to know what I am feeling others feel. For someone who has not walked our walk they just don't understand. For some reason I have been feeling very uneasy lately and cannot put my finger on it...I have learned to trust my instincts through all this...It seems just when I think or feel comfortable a little with what they are doing something happens to destroy it. It is like waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me...I don't know what is worse the anticipation or the actual event...I do remember when my oldest difficult child was doing really bad I could tell when something was going to happen..I use to pray to please let it happen so we could move on..odd thought and prayer?...</p><p></p><p>I know I am still affected by all that has happen..the other night my oldest difficult child was going to take my younger difficult child to work since I was going out with a friend. I got home and my oldest told me the younger difficult child called and said he was not going to work and if they called tell them he is sleeping. Of course I panicked waiting all night for the phone to ring thinking he was gonna get in trouble...My oldest told me he refused to answer the phone since he was not going to cover for him....How I wish this feeling would just go away...</p><p></p><p>I am really worried about my youngest difficult child...the community service issue is a big deal to me and bothers me to know that by not doing it or attempting to he could be throwing his future away....some how they think they are invincible..it won't happen to them. It just breaks my heart..the thought of having to go back to court destroys me...My hubby takes him to probation since he doesn't drive yet..I actually get ill going to probation....he goes later this week and I know this subject will come up and she could refer back to court...</p><p></p><p>say a prayer...and thank you for listening....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="fallen angel, post: 19717, member: 2034"] It is so nice to be back and thank you to all who responded to my posting...it does help to know what I am feeling others feel. For someone who has not walked our walk they just don't understand. For some reason I have been feeling very uneasy lately and cannot put my finger on it...I have learned to trust my instincts through all this...It seems just when I think or feel comfortable a little with what they are doing something happens to destroy it. It is like waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me...I don't know what is worse the anticipation or the actual event...I do remember when my oldest difficult child was doing really bad I could tell when something was going to happen..I use to pray to please let it happen so we could move on..odd thought and prayer?... I know I am still affected by all that has happen..the other night my oldest difficult child was going to take my younger difficult child to work since I was going out with a friend. I got home and my oldest told me the younger difficult child called and said he was not going to work and if they called tell them he is sleeping. Of course I panicked waiting all night for the phone to ring thinking he was gonna get in trouble...My oldest told me he refused to answer the phone since he was not going to cover for him....How I wish this feeling would just go away... I am really worried about my youngest difficult child...the community service issue is a big deal to me and bothers me to know that by not doing it or attempting to he could be throwing his future away....some how they think they are invincible..it won't happen to them. It just breaks my heart..the thought of having to go back to court destroys me...My hubby takes him to probation since he doesn't drive yet..I actually get ill going to probation....he goes later this week and I know this subject will come up and she could refer back to court... say a prayer...and thank you for listening.... [/QUOTE]
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