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Strength in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 428570"><p>This detachment thing is so hard when it comes down to it. My son seems to be doing ok. He has a job. He is meeting with probation. He is living in a bad place and he and girlfriend are trying to get an apartment. So I want to give him support when i can. He just texted me and asked if I could give him a ride to probation and then to work as everyone else in the house has to work and he doesn't have a ride, and it is a long way to bike......</p><p></p><p>OK so first of all he is living about 20 mintues from us and driving him is way way out of our way. It is completely in the opposite direction fo my work. He would need a ride in the middle of the day when both my husband and I have meetings at work. It really is nuts for me to even be thinking of doing it. Plus I don't want to set a precedent for us being his back up ride... I mean really it would cost me a couple of hours time wise.</p><p></p><p>I know intellectually that this is his problem to figure out and that in fact he could bike (not sure he even has a bike) or take the train and walk. Yes it is a long way but sometimes to be successful you have to do things that are hard. It is not freezing or snowing out. This has to be his problem to solve.</p><p></p><p>My temptation though is to make the sacrifice and jump in and help him. </p><p></p><p>Of course it bugs me to all get out that he only gets in touch when he needs something from us. </p><p></p><p>I did text him back that we had meetings and could not do it and suggested he check out the train. </p><p></p><p>I haven't heard back and I probably won't.... and I need to let it go and let him figure it out. </p><p></p><p>Ugh detachment is often easier said than done but I am doing it. Or at least it looks to him like I am doing it, even though I feel a bit churned up inside right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 428570"] This detachment thing is so hard when it comes down to it. My son seems to be doing ok. He has a job. He is meeting with probation. He is living in a bad place and he and girlfriend are trying to get an apartment. So I want to give him support when i can. He just texted me and asked if I could give him a ride to probation and then to work as everyone else in the house has to work and he doesn't have a ride, and it is a long way to bike...... OK so first of all he is living about 20 mintues from us and driving him is way way out of our way. It is completely in the opposite direction fo my work. He would need a ride in the middle of the day when both my husband and I have meetings at work. It really is nuts for me to even be thinking of doing it. Plus I don't want to set a precedent for us being his back up ride... I mean really it would cost me a couple of hours time wise. I know intellectually that this is his problem to figure out and that in fact he could bike (not sure he even has a bike) or take the train and walk. Yes it is a long way but sometimes to be successful you have to do things that are hard. It is not freezing or snowing out. This has to be his problem to solve. My temptation though is to make the sacrifice and jump in and help him. Of course it bugs me to all get out that he only gets in touch when he needs something from us. I did text him back that we had meetings and could not do it and suggested he check out the train. I haven't heard back and I probably won't.... and I need to let it go and let him figure it out. Ugh detachment is often easier said than done but I am doing it. Or at least it looks to him like I am doing it, even though I feel a bit churned up inside right now. [/QUOTE]
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