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Struggling today -- vent
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 381627" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>difficult child 1 is also very bright, but at 17, 18, 19 and 20 still needed my help to organise himself with his work. He did the work himself, but I would support him. It can be done. There is a huge difference between the child doing the work, and you doing it.</p><p></p><p>For example, the child has an essay on the greenhouse effect. Where do you start?</p><p>First step - find information. Sit with her, look up "Greenhouse Effect" in Google and work out how to identify a good source from a bad source. Go to the library and get books off the shelf. And here is where organisation starts - for every book and every internet site, write it down as you go. No "we'll go back to that later and lift the url, if I choose to use it". Anything you read in preparing an assignment is a valid reference. Hey, you can always delete it if you didn't use that information! </p><p>So the next thing I do, about the same time as that first search, is I start a text file. I get the student to do this and save it to their homework folder on the computer. Each site you visit that look interesting, you immediately copy the link and paste it into the text file, along with any text or images from that site that look interesting. That way, it's all linked. Don't worry if this grows too big, it can always be cut back. But you can't put in what isn't there. All this can take ten minutes, or an hour. If she is Aspie, she will be resistant to start (I use mini chocolate bars as bribes - difficult child 3 earns a chocolate bar if he stays on task solidly, no deflection, for half an hour). Let her keep going as long as she can handle it as long as you have got this far. When she does take a break you will be able to say, "Look at all the information you have gleaned! Well done! That is a long way towards getting this done!"</p><p></p><p>The next step is the mind map. Read up on this technique (aka clustering). Show her how. You might have to do the first mind map, but with her input. Ask her for key words, for ideas and ask her what connects to what. Ask her if there is anything she feels unsure about. This is critical.</p><p></p><p>The eventual aim is to totally turn around how she handles study-related anxiety. Too often the bad habit sets in, that when it is too hard we avoid it or we shut down. But in fact the most effective way to deal with this sort of anxiety, is to identify the area of concern and burrow in. Turn and face it, focus on it. If algebra has you in a quiver, then learn it so you can master it. She has the brains for this, but currently is too terrified of it and has developed bad study ha bits. While those habits remain, it will only get worse. While she has bad organisation skills (and she could nee to simply wait until her brain matures enough in that area - it happened in our family) then she won't be able to do it alone.</p><p></p><p>What we have done with difficult child 3, is after the mind map stage, I say to him. "Go spend half an hour working on your report. I will stay while you write the first sentence. Use the mind map as a guide. Then after you have spent a solid half hour on it, I will be done in the kitchen making you some corn on the cob..." (or whatever she likes). Getting started is a huge hurdle, and sometimes they just don't know where to begin, or where to take it.</p><p>But doing all this for them, is NOT doing the work for them. </p><p></p><p>Over time, if this is working, she may take over more steps. She may take on too much and fall back to where she was, at which time you pick up, go back to what you began doing and get her started again. But over time, you teach her what she needs. </p><p></p><p>What this method does, is similar to the way a therapist will physically move the limbs of a brain-damaged child, to simulate crawling. They need to do this patterning in order for the brain to learn the process, and to be able to make progress. True, most kids learn to crawl normally. But sometimes there is a blockage. And sometimes there is brain damage or some other problem, and patterning is needed to get over the hurdle. It doesn't mean the person is stupid, it just means that their brain power is expended in different areas.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 381627, member: 1991"] difficult child 1 is also very bright, but at 17, 18, 19 and 20 still needed my help to organise himself with his work. He did the work himself, but I would support him. It can be done. There is a huge difference between the child doing the work, and you doing it. For example, the child has an essay on the greenhouse effect. Where do you start? First step - find information. Sit with her, look up "Greenhouse Effect" in Google and work out how to identify a good source from a bad source. Go to the library and get books off the shelf. And here is where organisation starts - for every book and every internet site, write it down as you go. No "we'll go back to that later and lift the url, if I choose to use it". Anything you read in preparing an assignment is a valid reference. Hey, you can always delete it if you didn't use that information! So the next thing I do, about the same time as that first search, is I start a text file. I get the student to do this and save it to their homework folder on the computer. Each site you visit that look interesting, you immediately copy the link and paste it into the text file, along with any text or images from that site that look interesting. That way, it's all linked. Don't worry if this grows too big, it can always be cut back. But you can't put in what isn't there. All this can take ten minutes, or an hour. If she is Aspie, she will be resistant to start (I use mini chocolate bars as bribes - difficult child 3 earns a chocolate bar if he stays on task solidly, no deflection, for half an hour). Let her keep going as long as she can handle it as long as you have got this far. When she does take a break you will be able to say, "Look at all the information you have gleaned! Well done! That is a long way towards getting this done!" The next step is the mind map. Read up on this technique (aka clustering). Show her how. You might have to do the first mind map, but with her input. Ask her for key words, for ideas and ask her what connects to what. Ask her if there is anything she feels unsure about. This is critical. The eventual aim is to totally turn around how she handles study-related anxiety. Too often the bad habit sets in, that when it is too hard we avoid it or we shut down. But in fact the most effective way to deal with this sort of anxiety, is to identify the area of concern and burrow in. Turn and face it, focus on it. If algebra has you in a quiver, then learn it so you can master it. She has the brains for this, but currently is too terrified of it and has developed bad study ha bits. While those habits remain, it will only get worse. While she has bad organisation skills (and she could nee to simply wait until her brain matures enough in that area - it happened in our family) then she won't be able to do it alone. What we have done with difficult child 3, is after the mind map stage, I say to him. "Go spend half an hour working on your report. I will stay while you write the first sentence. Use the mind map as a guide. Then after you have spent a solid half hour on it, I will be done in the kitchen making you some corn on the cob..." (or whatever she likes). Getting started is a huge hurdle, and sometimes they just don't know where to begin, or where to take it. But doing all this for them, is NOT doing the work for them. Over time, if this is working, she may take over more steps. She may take on too much and fall back to where she was, at which time you pick up, go back to what you began doing and get her started again. But over time, you teach her what she needs. What this method does, is similar to the way a therapist will physically move the limbs of a brain-damaged child, to simulate crawling. They need to do this patterning in order for the brain to learn the process, and to be able to make progress. True, most kids learn to crawl normally. But sometimes there is a blockage. And sometimes there is brain damage or some other problem, and patterning is needed to get over the hurdle. It doesn't mean the person is stupid, it just means that their brain power is expended in different areas. Marg [/QUOTE]
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