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General Parenting
Struggling with almost 18 yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="smurfegurl2" data-source="post: 534084" data-attributes="member: 14729"><p>Thanks everyone for your responses. I have thought about other learning disabilities/disorders and discussed with him that we need him seeing a counselor and getting tested. My family has a million and one psychiatric issues so it's not a stretch. I can see depression...he was a great basketball player then his younger brother (that wasn't as naturally talented) started playing, worked hard (the oldest stopped working at it) and now has a scholarship at a private HS for basketball. People frequently compare him to his younger brother and it sucks but we've discussed how to handle/move past it. I was racking my brain last night looking for things (in addition to job corps) and ran across bipolarism in children. While I didn't have much time to research it, he has always had terrible sleep patterns, has always been hypersexual (even for being a cute kid) and used to swear he saw ghosts in one of our old houses. All he can tell me right now is he hates working for something and still failing. As a parent I know that you can't put forth effort only at the end of the race and always succeed but since this has worked for him for so long, he can't get past it. He lies ALL THE TIME, even when he knows I know the truth. Conversation "me:I'm going to call the school tomorrow and have them send me your report card. Him: ok, Tomorrow is here...me:so did you get a report card him: yes. me: is this a real report card, and remember I have told y'all many times, if I ask a question I probably already know the answer him:yes...so he pulls out a non failing report card...then i pull out the real one. He just shrugs. Last week he told his teacher he couldn't do afternoon classes because i was being discharged from the military for medical reasons and he had to help with his siblings. Teacher said well let me talk to mom...tells teacher I am in Maryland so he will talk to me and tell me to call. That very night he gets home (I have already spoken with the teacher but she didn't mention the Maryland part until later) and I ask him what this is about me being discharged and he has to help at home. He says while I was away earlier that month he did have to help but the other medical stuff just came up, he never related the two. and oh yeah mom for some reason I thought you were still in maryland when i was talking to her???? </p><p></p><p> I hate not knowing what to do to get thru to him/understand him/heal him...whatever. It sucks. I'll check out the other board as well but please do continue with your advice because I have no idea where to go or where to look. I don't want to lose my son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smurfegurl2, post: 534084, member: 14729"] Thanks everyone for your responses. I have thought about other learning disabilities/disorders and discussed with him that we need him seeing a counselor and getting tested. My family has a million and one psychiatric issues so it's not a stretch. I can see depression...he was a great basketball player then his younger brother (that wasn't as naturally talented) started playing, worked hard (the oldest stopped working at it) and now has a scholarship at a private HS for basketball. People frequently compare him to his younger brother and it sucks but we've discussed how to handle/move past it. I was racking my brain last night looking for things (in addition to job corps) and ran across bipolarism in children. While I didn't have much time to research it, he has always had terrible sleep patterns, has always been hypersexual (even for being a cute kid) and used to swear he saw ghosts in one of our old houses. All he can tell me right now is he hates working for something and still failing. As a parent I know that you can't put forth effort only at the end of the race and always succeed but since this has worked for him for so long, he can't get past it. He lies ALL THE TIME, even when he knows I know the truth. Conversation "me:I'm going to call the school tomorrow and have them send me your report card. Him: ok, Tomorrow is here...me:so did you get a report card him: yes. me: is this a real report card, and remember I have told y'all many times, if I ask a question I probably already know the answer him:yes...so he pulls out a non failing report card...then i pull out the real one. He just shrugs. Last week he told his teacher he couldn't do afternoon classes because i was being discharged from the military for medical reasons and he had to help with his siblings. Teacher said well let me talk to mom...tells teacher I am in Maryland so he will talk to me and tell me to call. That very night he gets home (I have already spoken with the teacher but she didn't mention the Maryland part until later) and I ask him what this is about me being discharged and he has to help at home. He says while I was away earlier that month he did have to help but the other medical stuff just came up, he never related the two. and oh yeah mom for some reason I thought you were still in maryland when i was talking to her???? I hate not knowing what to do to get thru to him/understand him/heal him...whatever. It sucks. I'll check out the other board as well but please do continue with your advice because I have no idea where to go or where to look. I don't want to lose my son. [/QUOTE]
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