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Struggling with my 4 year olds uncontrollable violent rage
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 640874" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>nzmum, my grandson has a huge target on his back, too (he's 8) and the other boys, so much more socially aware and sneaky, have used it to their advantage. It's the most awful thing to see. My grandson really has no friends at school because the meltdowns he had during kindergarten and first grade are still being held against him. And while he has improved and matured so much, he still has social challenges. It's funny, but the girls in his class are actually are far less mean than the boys. Is there a social skills class at the school? My grandson attended one, led by a family therapist once a week during the school day, with other kids that were having the same problem. It did bring awareness, and he knew he wasn't the only one having trouble negotiating the incredibly complicated world of school. We've used a lot of different books from various websites, and we just keep plugging away trying to find something that sticks. Or maybe it's all sticking and we just don't know it yet. Kind of like planting seeds: sometimes you have to wait awhile to see what you're going to get.</p><p></p><p>Here's what we had to do during his kinder year: he only stayed in school for 90 minutes a day for the first half the year. And a member of our family was on the playground for every recess to really watch what was going on. The "recess aides" and monitors were woefully unaware of what was going on. They simply don't have enough eyes, and many didn't have the sense of "with-it-ness" to understand what was happening right under their noses. I bought a school copy of "The Explosive Child" and we had a meeting to discuss it and try to get everyone on the same page. He's now in third grade and is using some tools he's learned along the way to help keep himself from hurt (emotionally hurt, not physically). He gets to school and goes straight to his classroom. His sister is out on the playground having a blast, and he's in his classroom. He chose this for himself. </p><p></p><p>If your little girl's problems are interfering with her ability to learn in the classroom, you can agitate for at least a 504 plan. It brings people to the table to talk about things and can be useful. There isn't really any legal teeth in it if the school doesn't want to cooperate (provide aides, behavioral assessments, ideas to identify triggers, collect data, etc.) but it's where you might have to start. And for some reason, all of the pediatricians we saw didn't give us one bit of useful help. </p><p></p><p>I know how hard this must be for you. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 640874, member: 13260"] nzmum, my grandson has a huge target on his back, too (he's 8) and the other boys, so much more socially aware and sneaky, have used it to their advantage. It's the most awful thing to see. My grandson really has no friends at school because the meltdowns he had during kindergarten and first grade are still being held against him. And while he has improved and matured so much, he still has social challenges. It's funny, but the girls in his class are actually are far less mean than the boys. Is there a social skills class at the school? My grandson attended one, led by a family therapist once a week during the school day, with other kids that were having the same problem. It did bring awareness, and he knew he wasn't the only one having trouble negotiating the incredibly complicated world of school. We've used a lot of different books from various websites, and we just keep plugging away trying to find something that sticks. Or maybe it's all sticking and we just don't know it yet. Kind of like planting seeds: sometimes you have to wait awhile to see what you're going to get. Here's what we had to do during his kinder year: he only stayed in school for 90 minutes a day for the first half the year. And a member of our family was on the playground for every recess to really watch what was going on. The "recess aides" and monitors were woefully unaware of what was going on. They simply don't have enough eyes, and many didn't have the sense of "with-it-ness" to understand what was happening right under their noses. I bought a school copy of "The Explosive Child" and we had a meeting to discuss it and try to get everyone on the same page. He's now in third grade and is using some tools he's learned along the way to help keep himself from hurt (emotionally hurt, not physically). He gets to school and goes straight to his classroom. His sister is out on the playground having a blast, and he's in his classroom. He chose this for himself. If your little girl's problems are interfering with her ability to learn in the classroom, you can agitate for at least a 504 plan. It brings people to the table to talk about things and can be useful. There isn't really any legal teeth in it if the school doesn't want to cooperate (provide aides, behavioral assessments, ideas to identify triggers, collect data, etc.) but it's where you might have to start. And for some reason, all of the pediatricians we saw didn't give us one bit of useful help. I know how hard this must be for you. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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