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Failure to Thrive
Stuck in a corner
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<blockquote data-quote="Maisy" data-source="post: 707166" data-attributes="member: 20161"><p>I think the thing that irks me so much is my father-in-law was always rough on my son. Quick to compare him to his favorite grandson, quick to pass judgement. Quick to get angry at him. So much of this is a long history too long to get into but it makes me mad and feel bad at the same time. Like he is right and I am wrong etc. even though my father-in-law is no saint. Why do I care so much? I don't even respect or love my father-in-law anyway. He has never understood my son's mental health issues or the struggles that my son has gone through or how much my son feels like the black sheep of the family. I know that my son needs to change in many ways. His anxiety is partly biological, which I also have. He is scared to do the things he should due to fear and developed bad habits. My son has struggled since early childhood so even though he can go onstage and lion dancing, it is only because he has or had a friend who supported him in it. He struggles with doing thing independently. And his ADHD causes another whole set of issues with procrastination, boredom etc. I know we need to get tougher on our son and we are trying, but my father-in-law's comments just remind me that we have not solved this situation yet and that it will probably never be perfect and we will probably always struggle. I an trying so hard to detatch, and this just sets me back.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Maisy, post: 707166, member: 20161"] I think the thing that irks me so much is my father-in-law was always rough on my son. Quick to compare him to his favorite grandson, quick to pass judgement. Quick to get angry at him. So much of this is a long history too long to get into but it makes me mad and feel bad at the same time. Like he is right and I am wrong etc. even though my father-in-law is no saint. Why do I care so much? I don't even respect or love my father-in-law anyway. He has never understood my son's mental health issues or the struggles that my son has gone through or how much my son feels like the black sheep of the family. I know that my son needs to change in many ways. His anxiety is partly biological, which I also have. He is scared to do the things he should due to fear and developed bad habits. My son has struggled since early childhood so even though he can go onstage and lion dancing, it is only because he has or had a friend who supported him in it. He struggles with doing thing independently. And his ADHD causes another whole set of issues with procrastination, boredom etc. I know we need to get tougher on our son and we are trying, but my father-in-law's comments just remind me that we have not solved this situation yet and that it will probably never be perfect and we will probably always struggle. I an trying so hard to detatch, and this just sets me back. [/QUOTE]
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