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Study of the Isolate Way: First Precept
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 663967" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Nope.</p><p></p><p>We just have to come back and read over, like, a period of time.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>When we understood the drug connection with our son, we were able to tailor our learning. Armed with that knowledge, we were able to choose different responses. When we believed we had been rotten parents, we felt it was our responsibility to address where we had fallen short as parents. When we understood we were dealing with an addiction, we were able to change our expectations of our son and ourselves. He seemed not a victim of our bumbling behaviors during daughter's fall, but of his own choices. Given that he was being victimized by his own choices, any help we gave him was not helping him. It was enabling.</p><p></p><p>If it had been proven that drug use was not involved ~ and this is true for daughter, too ~ we would be doing more financially than we are.</p><p></p><p>Copa? From your description of your boy as a child, your description of his behaviors now, the person he lives with ~ I would say drugs are a piece of this. There is the complexity of the illness. That cannot be eliminated as a factor. Drug use, or lack thereof, can.</p><p></p><p>That knowledge will inform your behavior.</p><p></p><p>At first, Copa? I thought you meant you were considering taking drugs yourself, and that this decision somehow had something to do with the First Precept.</p><p></p><p>I'm like...what did I miss?</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh wow, I love that, Copa. I did not know this. I thought I was one of the few who found comfort and even joy in the old churches, especially. It was explained to me once that the beautiful old buildings were built for a slower time, for a time of horse-drawn carriages or walking, and that is why they were beautiful. We are in such hurries today we would not note the beauty, so it was taken away and the money used to create more efficient internal space.</p><p></p><p>Sad, isn't it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't know, Copa. Agricultural societies, hunter gatherers ~ each social grouping seems to have had its higher status individuals.</p><p></p><p>Oh for heaven's sake. I didn't realize it was so late. </p><p></p><p>Happy Hour here. I will think more about this, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Have a good night, everyone.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 663967, member: 17461"] Nope. We just have to come back and read over, like, a period of time. :O) When we understood the drug connection with our son, we were able to tailor our learning. Armed with that knowledge, we were able to choose different responses. When we believed we had been rotten parents, we felt it was our responsibility to address where we had fallen short as parents. When we understood we were dealing with an addiction, we were able to change our expectations of our son and ourselves. He seemed not a victim of our bumbling behaviors during daughter's fall, but of his own choices. Given that he was being victimized by his own choices, any help we gave him was not helping him. It was enabling. If it had been proven that drug use was not involved ~ and this is true for daughter, too ~ we would be doing more financially than we are. Copa? From your description of your boy as a child, your description of his behaviors now, the person he lives with ~ I would say drugs are a piece of this. There is the complexity of the illness. That cannot be eliminated as a factor. Drug use, or lack thereof, can. That knowledge will inform your behavior. At first, Copa? I thought you meant you were considering taking drugs yourself, and that this decision somehow had something to do with the First Precept. I'm like...what did I miss? :hugs: Oh wow, I love that, Copa. I did not know this. I thought I was one of the few who found comfort and even joy in the old churches, especially. It was explained to me once that the beautiful old buildings were built for a slower time, for a time of horse-drawn carriages or walking, and that is why they were beautiful. We are in such hurries today we would not note the beauty, so it was taken away and the money used to create more efficient internal space. Sad, isn't it. I don't know, Copa. Agricultural societies, hunter gatherers ~ each social grouping seems to have had its higher status individuals. Oh for heaven's sake. I didn't realize it was so late. Happy Hour here. I will think more about this, Copa. Have a good night, everyone. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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