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Parent Emeritus
Sucking out the joy
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 683600" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I have missed many occasions and get togethers because at my saddest point, it felt like all of my troubles with my two were just oozing out of my pores. I became the unintended blurter a couple of times, where someone asked me "how you doing?" The stuff just flowed out of my mouth in a run on sentence like a never ending river. Then I noticed the extremely uncomfortable look on the persons face. Ugh.</p><p>.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/imok.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":imok:" title="I'm ok :imok:" data-shortname=":imok:" /></p><p>I didn't want to be that <em>person</em> at a gathering who just couldn't manage to<em> fake it</em>. I am glad for my friends who's kids are doing well, just couldn't bear to bring the sadness I felt for the world to see.</p><p>Aside from trying to get back to my walking and kind of a life with clay class, and this certification course I am taking, I have gone through somewhat of a hermit stage.Then there is work, where I have to snap out of it and do the best I can do at my job.</p><p>It is a heavy load.</p><p>I don't think you are the worst friend ever Colleen, you are in the thick of a battle like no other. I think it takes a lot of time and hard work to just process all of this stuff with our kids going on.</p><p>Sadness is a big part of the processing. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed with the weight of it? It is self care to want to stay home and snuggle down in bed, or post our sorrows, anything to feel what we need to feel, and I think that is okay. Trying to bottle it up and push it down will just end up making us ill. It will come out other ways.</p><p>It is natural to feel sad......and healthy, I think, to take time to take care of ourselves and <em>work through it.</em></p><p>I think that is really, really important. Recognize the need to grieve as you must, and do things according to how you are feeling, not what others think you should do.</p><p>But, I do also think that if the grief and sadness becomes too paralyzing, we need to get help.</p><p>If our friends are true friends, they will understand what we are going through.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 683600, member: 19522"] I have missed many occasions and get togethers because at my saddest point, it felt like all of my troubles with my two were just oozing out of my pores. I became the unintended blurter a couple of times, where someone asked me "how you doing?" The stuff just flowed out of my mouth in a run on sentence like a never ending river. Then I noticed the extremely uncomfortable look on the persons face. Ugh. .:imok: I didn't want to be that [I]person[/I] at a gathering who just couldn't manage to[I] fake it[/I]. I am glad for my friends who's kids are doing well, just couldn't bear to bring the sadness I felt for the world to see. Aside from trying to get back to my walking and kind of a life with clay class, and this certification course I am taking, I have gone through somewhat of a hermit stage.Then there is work, where I have to snap out of it and do the best I can do at my job. It is a heavy load. I don't think you are the worst friend ever Colleen, you are in the thick of a battle like no other. I think it takes a lot of time and hard work to just process all of this stuff with our kids going on. Sadness is a big part of the processing. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed with the weight of it? It is self care to want to stay home and snuggle down in bed, or post our sorrows, anything to feel what we need to feel, and I think that is okay. Trying to bottle it up and push it down will just end up making us ill. It will come out other ways. It is natural to feel sad......and healthy, I think, to take time to take care of ourselves and [I]work through it.[/I] I think that is really, really important. Recognize the need to grieve as you must, and do things according to how you are feeling, not what others think you should do. But, I do also think that if the grief and sadness becomes too paralyzing, we need to get help. If our friends are true friends, they will understand what we are going through. (((Hugs))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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