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Support or Advice, I just need help. PLEASE!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618841" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I was thinking about Terry's lines. The bizarreness of such an old teen having poop and peeing issues is a big red flag for abuse. They are also symptoms of attachment problems. The first three years of a child's life are critical. If they are full of chaos and loss of one or both parents, attachment problems can happen and those attachment challenged kids are probably the hardest children to raise of any. They have no conscience and pretty much like children with antisocial personality disorder. They are oblivious to punishment and just do mean things to be mean...and without thinking or remorse. </p><p></p><p>This is a very hard question to ask, but I lived for three years with a child who had attachment disorder: Has your son ever acted out sexually toward anyone else, notably your children? Are you 100% sure? Ours did and he scared our younger kids into not telling us until he was finally gone. Is he nice or mean to animals? Any fascination with fires or any history of starting fires?</p><p></p><p>Regardless of what is wrong, although home may be the safest place for him, what is the safest place for you, your husband and your other kids? You said he tried to smother one once? </p><p></p><p>There are good and bad residential treatment centers. There is also foster care and special boarding schools to help these challenged kids. Often t hey do better there because they are not particularly happy being at home.</p><p></p><p>Trust me, nobody here will either judge you or give you a hard time. Most of us sort of know what each other is going through.</p><p></p><p>Also, sounds like Mom was mentally ill. He could have inherited something. </p><p></p><p>Here are some symptoms of reactive attachment disorders and some causes:</p><p></p><p>Attachment Disorder Symptoms</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Superficially engaging & charming</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lack of eye contact on parents’ terms</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Not affectionate on parents’ terms (not ‘cuddly’)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Destructive to self, others and material things (‘accident prone’)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Cruelty to animals</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lying about the obvious (‘crazy’ lying)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Stealing</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Learning Lags</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lack of cause-and-effect thinking</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Lack of conscience</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Abnormal eating patterns</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Poor peer relationships</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Preoccupation with fire</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Preoccupation with blood & gore</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Persistent nonsense questions & chatter</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Inappropriately demanding & clingy</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Abnormal speech patterns</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Triangulation of adults</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">False allegations of abuse</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Presumptive entitlement issues</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Parents appear hostile and angry</li> </ul><p>Causes</p><p></p><p>Any of the following conditions occurring to a child during the first 36 months of life puts them at risk:</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Unwanted pregnancy</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Pre-birth exposure to trauma, drugs or alcohol</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Neglect (not answering the baby’s cries for help)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Separation from primary caregiver (i.e. illness or death of mother, or severe illness or hospitalization of the baby, or adoption)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">On-going pain such as colic, hernia or many ear infections</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Changing day cares or using providers who don’t do bonding</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Moms with chronic depression</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Several moves or placements (foster care, failed adoptions)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Caring for baby on a timed schedule or other self-centered parenting</li> </ul></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618841, member: 1550"] I was thinking about Terry's lines. The bizarreness of such an old teen having poop and peeing issues is a big red flag for abuse. They are also symptoms of attachment problems. The first three years of a child's life are critical. If they are full of chaos and loss of one or both parents, attachment problems can happen and those attachment challenged kids are probably the hardest children to raise of any. They have no conscience and pretty much like children with antisocial personality disorder. They are oblivious to punishment and just do mean things to be mean...and without thinking or remorse. This is a very hard question to ask, but I lived for three years with a child who had attachment disorder: Has your son ever acted out sexually toward anyone else, notably your children? Are you 100% sure? Ours did and he scared our younger kids into not telling us until he was finally gone. Is he nice or mean to animals? Any fascination with fires or any history of starting fires? Regardless of what is wrong, although home may be the safest place for him, what is the safest place for you, your husband and your other kids? You said he tried to smother one once? There are good and bad residential treatment centers. There is also foster care and special boarding schools to help these challenged kids. Often t hey do better there because they are not particularly happy being at home. Trust me, nobody here will either judge you or give you a hard time. Most of us sort of know what each other is going through. Also, sounds like Mom was mentally ill. He could have inherited something. Here are some symptoms of reactive attachment disorders and some causes: Attachment Disorder Symptoms [LIST] [*]Superficially engaging & charming [*]Lack of eye contact on parents’ terms [*]Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers [*]Not affectionate on parents’ terms (not ‘cuddly’) [*]Destructive to self, others and material things (‘accident prone’) [*]Cruelty to animals [*]Lying about the obvious (‘crazy’ lying) [*]Stealing [*]No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive) [*]Learning Lags [*]Lack of cause-and-effect thinking [*]Lack of conscience [*]Abnormal eating patterns [*]Poor peer relationships [*]Preoccupation with fire [*]Preoccupation with blood & gore [*]Persistent nonsense questions & chatter [*]Inappropriately demanding & clingy [*]Abnormal speech patterns [*]Triangulation of adults [*]False allegations of abuse [*]Presumptive entitlement issues [*]Parents appear hostile and angry [/LIST] Causes Any of the following conditions occurring to a child during the first 36 months of life puts them at risk: [LIST] [*]Unwanted pregnancy [*]Pre-birth exposure to trauma, drugs or alcohol [*]Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) [*]Neglect (not answering the baby’s cries for help) [*]Separation from primary caregiver (i.e. illness or death of mother, or severe illness or hospitalization of the baby, or adoption) [*]On-going pain such as colic, hernia or many ear infections [*]Changing day cares or using providers who don’t do bonding [*]Moms with chronic depression [*]Several moves or placements (foster care, failed adoptions) [*]Caring for baby on a timed schedule or other self-centered parenting [/LIST] [/QUOTE]
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