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<blockquote data-quote="So Tired" data-source="post: 184308" data-attributes="member: 4772"><p>Kolleen,</p><p> </p><p>I understand the disappointment - It really feels like a betrayal when they disrespect your home in that way. I found similar items and was so angry each time -- what if my 11 year old was the one to find them?! Each time there would be a new excuse - it's from a long time ago, it's a friend's, I was depressed over job/girlfriend/whatever. What a load! I know you have a "move out" date set up -- keep strong! </p><p> </p><p>As far as the pain of people asking about difficult child - that is very difficult for me also. I found myself avoiding seeing people I knew because I didn't want to face the "what's difficult child up to?" question. But I found that if I just kept it vauge (difficult child's hasn't decided/ difficult child's going to the school of hard knocks, at the moment/ difficult child's working part-time) most people didn't press for any details, and those I trusted with the truth almost always knew a difficult child (child/brother/cousin/etc) and could relate. Try not to isolate yourself -- you need your family and friends and remember, difficult child's choices are <span style="color: black"><u>his</u> and are not a reflection of your values or parenting abilities...(this is easy to say to others, but we all feel so guilty, like difficult child's problems are some sort of personal failure. I know I go over all the things I could of done better, but I gave difficult child a nice, safe home. Showed him love and affection. Was involved in school and extra-ciricular activities. Tried to give him the tools to succeed. I guess my biggest mistake was in thinking that he was too smart to get involved in drugs. Pride on my part, I guess)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Hoping for better days ahead for us both.....</span></p><p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="So Tired, post: 184308, member: 4772"] Kolleen, I understand the disappointment - It really feels like a betrayal when they disrespect your home in that way. I found similar items and was so angry each time -- what if my 11 year old was the one to find them?! Each time there would be a new excuse - it's from a long time ago, it's a friend's, I was depressed over job/girlfriend/whatever. What a load! I know you have a "move out" date set up -- keep strong! As far as the pain of people asking about difficult child - that is very difficult for me also. I found myself avoiding seeing people I knew because I didn't want to face the "what's difficult child up to?" question. But I found that if I just kept it vauge (difficult child's hasn't decided/ difficult child's going to the school of hard knocks, at the moment/ difficult child's working part-time) most people didn't press for any details, and those I trusted with the truth almost always knew a difficult child (child/brother/cousin/etc) and could relate. Try not to isolate yourself -- you need your family and friends and remember, difficult child's choices are [COLOR=black][U]his[/U] and are not a reflection of your values or parenting abilities...(this is easy to say to others, but we all feel so guilty, like difficult child's problems are some sort of personal failure. I know I go over all the things I could of done better, but I gave difficult child a nice, safe home. Showed him love and affection. Was involved in school and extra-ciricular activities. Tried to give him the tools to succeed. I guess my biggest mistake was in thinking that he was too smart to get involved in drugs. Pride on my part, I guess)[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Hoping for better days ahead for us both.....[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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